Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about how you view your relationship. When you talk about your relationship,

what do you say? Do you glorify the struggle by being proud of the good times and making light of the bad? Or do you focus on your relationship. What do you say? Do you glorify the struggle by being proud of the good times

and making light of the bad? Or do you focus on the disagreements and look back on them with

resentment? Not to freak you out, but when couples view their relationship's history in a negative

light, it's one of our largest predictors of divorce. It's a big factor in how happy and successful your

relationship might be in the future. So take a step in a positive direction and be proud when you

share the story of us with other people. The story of your relationship is exactly what it sounds like.

Did you meet your partner on a dating app and swiped right to your happily ever

after? Did you stumble into each other at some place utterly ridiculous? Or were you high school

sweethearts? Every couple has a story to tell. And where you met is just the icebreaker. Kind of like

that first date. What are your favorite memories together? What are the difficulties that you've

been through as a couple and how have you come out on top? How has your relationship changed over time? The answers tell the history and philosophy of your relationship. Couples who have a positive story of us, even if you went through some hard times and even if you still have issues to sort out, are likely to succeed.

Here's today's Small Thing. Talk to your partner about the things that make you proud to be a couple. Reminis about something positive that has happened in your relationship or something that

you've conquered together. Tune in to the next episode of Small Things Often for another quick

tip from the Gottman Institute,

helping you maintain and strengthen all of your relationships.