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The Mel Robbins Podcast

How Do I Learn to Love Myself, Really?

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.615.3K Ratings

🗓️ 28 November 2022

⏱️ 35 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Whatever you're doing right now, stop and make time for this conversation. Every single day, I get questions from listeners about self-love, self-hatred, and what it actually means to like yourself. I understand why it’s confusing. The topic of self-love is so broad, and there is very little actionable advice on how exactly you learn to like yourself, especially if you’ve spent your whole life being hard on yourself. So don’t worry, I’ve decided to attack this topic of self-love in a completely unique, surprising, and tactical manner. This is also one of the most personal episodes I’ve released because I’m inviting you to join a conversation I’m having with our 17-year-old son, Oakley. This is not a “podcast interview.” This is an intimate conversation between a mother and a son about the most important topic you could discuss: self-love. When Oakley was in middle school, he hated himself, and as his mom, it was awful to see him so lonely and sad. In today’s conversation, he shares things with me about this time in his life that I never knew. And more importantly, we unpack the moment he had an epiphany that changed everything. You will absolutely relate to everything he shares and his reflections about it. I’m so proud to share this conversation with you. You will be blown away because you’ll not only feel like you’re part of our family, but we’re also welcoming you into our hearts. You will laugh out loud, even though your heart might break a little. And by the end of it, you’ll have not only wisdom, but also a couple of simple tools to help you learn how to like yourself a little more. This conversation is a must-listen for EVERYONE in your life. And especially for young adults because when they hear these insights from someone their age, it’s way more compelling than getting advice from an adult. I do want to be up front about one thing: Oakley is 17 and like most 17-year-olds, whether they do it in front of you or not, he has a case of the F’s, meaning he drops the F-word a fair number of times, and I made a decision to record it as is and allow him to speak freely. And, I just can’t emphasize enough how much insight this is going to give you into your own relationship with yourself. I hope you will make the time to spend a half hour with the two of us, because I know you will leave feeling seen, understood, and liking yourself a little better. I cannot wait to hear what you learn. Xo Mel For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to an absolutely freaking amazing episode of

0:08.7

the Mel Robbins Podcast.

0:11.0

Woo!

0:12.0

I got to take a deep breath because I have some serious goosebumps about what's going to

0:18.2

go down today with you and me.

0:20.6

You're about to hear a conversation that I just had with our 17-year-old son Oakley.

0:26.6

Here's what we're talking about.

0:29.0

We're talking about self-hatred and self-acceptance and learning how to be kinder to yourself and

0:35.6

self-love.

0:37.9

And you're going to hear that our son used to struggle deeply with hating himself.

0:45.3

And this was happening during elementary school, during middle school, and it was absolutely

0:51.8

terrifying for Chris and I to watch one of our kids struggle so profoundly.

0:57.5

He was always picked on, he didn't have a lot of friends, he spent a lot of time alone,

1:02.9

he always felt like the odd guy out.

1:06.2

And we tried absolutely everything to reach this kid, to help him.

1:11.8

And so Oak and I had this long conversation about it because now he's 17 and he is so

1:18.9

happy.

1:19.9

In fact, he's one of the most self-accepting and self-descured and self-loving people

1:25.0

I know.

1:26.5

And you're going to hear that 17-year-old happier version of him.

1:31.6

And the reason why I wanted to share this really personal conversation with you is because

1:38.1

this is proof that you can learn how to accept yourself and be kinder to yourself and even

...

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