How do I have a relationship with my needy mother-in-law while needing to take care of my own family?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 4 October 2022

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I talk with Brittany and address the question, “How do I have a relationship with my needy mother-in-law while needing to take care of my own family?” Brittany and her husband provided a lot of financial and emotional support to her mother-in-law before Brittany’s husband passed away. Their current relationship leaves Brittany feeling guilty and resentful toward her mother-in-law. She has encouraged her mother-in-law to seek help many times, but she refuses to take action to ...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to
0:23.2	prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your faith. I'm your host,
0:29.2	Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women
0:34.5	all over the world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:38.3	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them
0:43.0	with tools to find healing.
0:45.2	I'm thrilled to welcome Brittany to the podcast today.
0:48.5	Welcome, Brittany.
0:49.3	Thanks for being here.
0:50.7	Hi.
0:51.2	Thank you for having me.
0:52.6	What is your question for me today? Well, a little bit of backstory.
0:57.4	I am a mother of four children and my spouse passed away within the last year. His relationship with
1:06.0	his mother was a little complicated and she relied on us a lot financially and emotionally. So when he got sick,
1:13.2	we just really weren't able to help anymore. So since his death, she's been pretty bitter and
1:19.4	angry. And she says she wants to have a relationship with us, which I would welcome, except for the
1:24.6	fact that this usually creates some stress and more work on my part.
1:29.9	But I guess I just feel immense guilt watching her struggle while also being a little bit
1:36.8	resentful. And my question is, how can I figure out how to allow her to still have a
1:44.1	relationship with me and my children, but also kind of balance that need for me to take care of my own family without all the added frustration and stress?
1:53.7	It sounds like in the relationship you've done, you and your and your husband have done a lot of caretaking of her.
2:02.5	Yes.
	...

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