How Do Abusers Gaslight Victims (& Advocates)?
Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Anne Blythe, M.Ed.
4.7 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 22 August 2023
⏱️ 21 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Dr. Jessica Taylor, author of Why Women Are Blamed for Everything and Sexy But Psycho is on the podcast. Read the full transcript below and tune in now for more.
Abusers Use THESE PHRASES to Gaslight YOU
Wondering if you've been a victim of gaslighting? Dr. Jessica Taylor and Anne share some of these common phrases and conversations that abusers may use with victims to distort their reality and cause them to wonder if they're capable of discerning truth:
* I've asked our family and friends to pray for you.
* You're overly emotional.
* You're mentally unwell.
* Have you been taking your medication?
* Have you considered going to therapy?
* No one is going to believe you.
* No one is going to support you/like you/believe you/listen to you.
* I know you care about our family, and ever since you started ______ (listening to this podcast, reading this book, talking to this friend, etc), you've been disconnected/too "feminist"/hurting our family, etc.
* The light in your eyes is gone - I think you've lost the Spirit.
Abusers Use THESE PHRASES to Gaslight Advocates
Advocates include YOUR family, friends, clergy, victim advocates (such as DV workers), medical care providers, and others:
* She hasn't been taking her medication.
* Please pray for her - she needs all of our help right now.
* She's been acting unusual lately.
* I've done all I can.
* I'm worried she's losing her mind.
* I'm scared she's going to leave the Church.
* She's been violent with me and the children.
* I think she's cheating on me.
* I love her so much, I wish she'd come back to us.
BTR.ORG Is Here For You
It's scary, isn't it? When you realize that you may be a victim of psychological violence.
We are here for you. Attend a BTR.ORG Group Session today to process your trauma in a safe place.
Full Transcript:
Anne (00:00):
It's interesting to me that I was on sort of this kick about how the media does not get it right long before the murder of my friend's son. So we cover it here again. This interview happened before the murder of my friend's son. So as you listen, keep that in mind. I have Dr. Jessica Taylor, the author of Why Women Are Blamed for Everything and the newly released Sexy But Psycho. She has a PhD in forensic psychology and is the director of Victim Focus. Welcome, Dr. Taylor.
Dr. Jessica Taylor (00:37):
Thank you so much for having me.
Anne (00:40):
Dr. Taylor is amazing and I'm gonna have her start by introducing her organization, Victim Focus, and then also talking a little bit about her books.
What is Victim Focus?
Dr. Jessica Taylor (00:48):
Victim Focus is six years old. We work all over the world. We have tons of free resources, you know, of understanding abuse, misogyny, violence, grooming, sexual violence, domestic abuse, assault, harassment, victim blaming, rape myths, beliefs, narratives, stereotypes. It's, you know, I wanted to create this hub of just everything that could be useful to women and girls who've been subjected to male violence. So that's what it's become and it's just growing and growing and growing. And then as part of that, I wrote Why Women Are Blamed For Everything. After I did my PhD and the PhD in forensic psychology specialized in the psychology of victim blaming of women and girls who've been subjected to male violence and how women and girls are like convinced to self-blame as well. And the trauma that,
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | It's interesting to me that I was on sort of this kick about how the media does not get it right |
| 0:06.2 | long before the murder of my friend's son. So we cover it here again. This |
| 0:12.6 | interview happened before |
| 0:15.0 | the murder of my friend's son. So as you listen, keep that in mind. |
| 0:20.7 | I have Dr. Jessica Taylor, the author of Why Women Are Blamed For Everything and the newly released sexy but psycho |
| 0:30.5 | she has a PhD in forensic psychology and is the director of victim focus. Welcome Dr. Taylor. |
| 0:37.6 | Thank you so much for having me. |
| 0:39.9 | Dr. Taylor is amazing. And I'm going to have her start by introducing her organization, Victim Focus, |
| 0:45.5 | and then also talking a little bit about her books. Victim Focus is six years old. We work all over |
| 0:50.5 | the world. Primarily, we're like research, training, consultancy at victimfocus.com. We have |
| 0:59.1 | tons of free resources, you know, of understanding abuse, misogyny, violence, grooming, sexual |
| 1:07.4 | violence, domestic abuse, assault, harassment, victim blaming, rape myths, beliefs, narrative, |
| 1:15.3 | stereotypes. It's, you know, I wanted to create this hub of just everything that could be useful |
| 1:20.2 | to women and girls who've been subjected to male violence. So that's what it's become and it's |
| 1:24.9 | just growing and growing and growing. And then as part of that, I wrote Why Women Are Blamed For |
| 1:30.6 | Everything after I did my PhD and the PhD in forensic psychology specialised in the psychology |
| 1:36.8 | of victim blaming of women and girls who've been subjected to male violence and how women |
| 1:41.6 | and girls are like convinced to self blame as well. And the trauma that that obviously then |
| 1:48.3 | compounds because you've already been through so much and then you've got this added level |
| 1:54.1 | of victim blaming from maybe your friend, your family, your ex partner, whoever it was, |
| 1:58.8 | even services and professionals. And then on top of that, you've got almost like this social |
| 2:03.6 | grooming for you to take responsibility for what happened. I wrote Why Women Are Blamed For |
... |
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