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Culture Study Podcast

How Did Dating Get THIS Difficult?

Culture Study Podcast

Culture Study Podcast

Arts, Society & Culture

4.5789 Ratings

🗓️ 7 January 2026

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This episode is the result of years of listener requests: how did dating get SO bad, and how can we possibly make it better? Melody and I have been out of the dating game for a hot minute, but we knew that the combination of your excellent questions + an excellent co-host [Jonquilyn Hill, host of Vox's Explain It All who is, importantly, currently dating] + sociological discussion of how dating has historically functioned (and why it no longer functions that way) could lead us to something that manages to be at once cathartic and hopeful (and educational for anyone who hasn't tried to date in the last decade). We answer your questions on "informational intimacy," how long is too long to chat (before setting an actual date), optimization culture, and whether or not it's weird for someone to run your Hinge account (I LOVE THIS QUESTION).....plus bonus content on how to actually meet people off the apps. You don't have to be dating to love this episode, but if you are — let's go after it in the comments. AND GREAT NEWS: WE HAVE VERY GOOD EPISODE TRANSCRIPTS NOW! They come out within 24 hours of the pod, so you just have to be a little patient and then come back and click here. We pay an actual human for help with these, so thank you for either being a paid subscriber or listening to the ads that make this model possible!If you're a paid subscriber and haven't yet set up your subscriber RSS feed in your podcast player, here's the EXTREMELY easy how-to .And if you're having any other issues with your Patreon subscription — please get in touch! Email me at annehelenpetersen @ gmail OR submit a request to Patreon Support. Thank you for making the switch with us — the podcast in particular is much more at home here!Thanks to the Sponsors of Today's Episode!Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com/CULTURE to find and instantly book a doctor you love todayIf you're in the market for a new sofa, dining table, bed, or filing cabinet, peruse the beautiful and long-lasting offerings at Article.comGet 15% off your first order of Pre-Alcohol at zbiotics.com/CULTURESTUDY using code CULTURESTUDY at checkoutGet 50% off your purchase of a new night guard at shopremi.com/CULTURE, using code CULTUREShow Notes:Follow Jonquilyn on Instagram hereYou can find all episodes of Explain It To Me hereListen to Jonquilyn's episode of Explain It To Me on Cuffing SeasonMelody found this super-interesting article: Men Are Just As Picky As Women About Who They’d Date—If They’re the Ones Being PursuedJonquilyn mentions the Netflix show THE LATER DATERSI mention my interview with sociologist Corinne Low re: figuring out what you actually want in terms of a future life (before finding a partner) We're currently looking for your questions for future episodes about:New trends you've noticed in the world of MOMFLUENCERS How we think about the morality of money and taxes — who should pay taxes, who shouldn't, who "deserves" money, who doesn't, how we came to decide that religious organizations shouldn't pay taxes (and how that belief is changing), SO MUCHHow to process all the STUFF accumulated from relatives (we have a really helpful organizer with a bunch of mental health training for this one!)The State of The CHAIN RESTAURANT — and chain restaurant supply chain!!! (I'm so excited for this one)Wedding culture!!For our next Culture Of Place: Puerto Rico!Anything you need advice or want musings on for the AAA segment. You can ask about anything, it’s literally the name of the segmentAs always, you can submit your questions (and ideas for future eps) hereFor this week’s discussion: Tell us your dating frustrations! What's changed, what annoys you, what strategies have worked?

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi everyone. This is the Culture Study podcast, and I'm Anne Helen Peterson.

0:04.9

And I'm John Glenn Hill. I'm the host of the podcast Explain It to Me from Vox.

0:09.7

What is your read on the dating scene right now?

0:14.4

Ooh, at this current moment?

0:16.6

Yeah.

0:18.3

Okay, I'm forever an optimist, but I will say, I will not lie as a person who is out here in these single streets.

0:27.8

It's not easy.

0:30.1

It can be very demoralizing.

0:32.2

The highs are high and the lows, oh, baby.

0:35.5

Ha, they are low.

0:37.4

They are low. They are low.

0:39.2

What are some, we're going to talk about our positionality and relationship to dating in just a second, but I want to hear some of the dating related questions that you've talked about on explain it to me.

0:49.7

Because that's part of the reason that Malady thought that you would be the perfect person for this,

0:54.4

not just because you're out there on those single street.

0:56.7

Okay, so there are two major ones I think of.

0:59.6

One is the question we've got is why is dating so bad for men, young men in particular?

1:05.7

And I admit when I first heard that, I was like, wait, what do you mean?

1:09.1

But then, because I don't know, I think it's very easy to look at the other side of straight

1:14.0

dating and to think, oh, you have it so easy because I'm like, oh, if I was a man with a job,

1:18.2

I'd be married so fast so easily.

1:21.7

But it's not true.

1:23.8

And also like, yeah, with a job.

...

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