" How could explain that I was not about to do something really weird and criminal?!"
LuAnna: The Podcast
Global
4.8 • 11.1K Ratings
🗓️ 1 June 2026
⏱️ 68 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this week’s LuAnna: Anna reports back from a ridiculously posh run of events including Buckingham Palace with Al and his “Nigel Farage umbrella”, and a trip to Chelsea Flower Show with Papa P, where they stumble across pussypump bushes in the Lovehoney garden. And, it’s Lu’s birthday week and she's spending it gallivanting around Europe for mysterious horse-related reasons that she’s still not quite ready to hard launch.
Plus, the girls chat watching themselves back on YouTube, public thirsting, missing a catcall, take a full dive into the unexpectedly wholesome world of the kids asking big questions about sexuality, same-sex parents and what it means to be gay, we've a horrible family dilemma involving dementia, betrayal and a carer affair, a horse willy K-Y Jelly disaster, the terrifying Maldives cave diving tragedy, and a strong debate over whether switching sides of the bed is grounds for divorce.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is a global player original podcast. |
| 0:05.6 | Beward, it's Luana and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, and |
| 0:10.6 | general explicit content. |
| 0:12.5 | But you know you love it. |
| 0:15.3 | I can appreciate beautiful women and men. |
| 0:18.1 | Not only inappropriate, it's cruel. |
| 0:21.1 | I don't really want to see a pussy pump |
| 0:22.9 | when I'm walking around Chelsea Flower Show, |
| 0:24.8 | even if it's hidden in a rose bush. |
| 0:27.4 | Why are you taking your Nigel Farage umbrella? |
| 0:29.9 | The sea is for like mermaids and people without legs. |
| 0:32.9 | Rug muncher. |
| 0:35.3 | Oh, sorry. |
| 0:42.3 | Ah! Oh! buncher. Oh. Sorry. Hello. |
| 0:48.0 | This is on fire. |
| 0:51.0 | I'm very excited. |
| 0:52.1 | She's like a little Katie Perry firework. |
| 0:55.1 | Happy Monday guys. |
| 0:56.1 | I met Miley Cyrus. |
| 0:57.4 | I came in like a wrecking ball. |
| 1:00.4 | You are our little wrecking ball. |
| 1:02.0 | I used to think that was rainbow if we're talking about misheard lyrics. |
... |
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