How can I cope with the idea that my dad will always choose the Church over me?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 29 November 2022

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I talk with Shelby and answer the question “How can I cope with the idea that my dad will always choose the Church over me?” Shelby has left the LDS Church. At times when Shelby has asked her father to be on her side, he has told her that he will always put the Church first.I invite Shelby to reframe her thoughts about her father having to choose her or the Church and open up the possibility that her father can choose both. She cannot change her father or make his choices for...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to
0:23.2	prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your faith. I'm your host,
0:29.2	Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women
0:34.5	all over the world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:38.3	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them
0:43.0	with tools to find healing.
0:45.0	I am thrilled to welcome to the podcast today, Shelby.
0:49.6	Welcome, Shelby.
0:50.9	Hi, how are you?
0:52.2	I'm well. How are you doing?
0:58.7	Doing pretty good. Good. Good, Good. What is your question for me today?
1:12.2	My question, which hopefully is it too complex, is how do you cope with the idea that your parent, in my case, my father, will always choose the church over our relationship.
1:14.0	Okay.
1:15.1	Wow.
1:19.3	Give me some examples, Shelby, of kind of when that's happened.
1:21.7	So I understand the situation.
1:29.0	So I'm one of the only kids maybe openly that have left the church. I'm one of five.
1:36.2	Is it the LDS church that you're referring to? Yes. LBS. Yes. And when I've, he's never really asked me why. He just kind of either avoids it or he kind of like talks to me like I've
1:42.3	turned my back on the church or like in a very negative
1:44.6	way. And when I've asked him about, you know, wanting to be more involved in I have a son who's
1:50.8	about a year and a half almost. And like he doesn't live the same state, but just being more
1:57.0	involved in our lives a little bit. And acknowledging that I do have boundaries with that, you know, of course, it always comes back to the church and how I turn my back on the church and things like that.
	...

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