Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm your wishfully thinking it's summertime,

fun time, guest bailiff Monte Belmonti. We are in chambers this week to clear the

docket on the maximum fun rocket, which we hope will not suffer a rapid unscheduled

disassembly like Elon Musk's Starship did. Please welcome the man who built this city on

rock and roll like Starship did, the honorable Judge John Hodgman.

Monte Belmonti, why are you taking swipes at Elon Musk on this podcast?

Why not? That's a big fat target. You know, I, um, I was recently at an airport and I went to

the rental counter and I asked for a car to rent for personal travel and they produced me. I didn't

ask. They produced me, they produced in front of me a Tesla series three. What a crummy piece of junk.

Really? Valerie Moffat, did I already talk about this on the podcast?

No. I'd rather drive a Playmobile car than that thing. Really?

Yes, it made me very nervous. I am all for electric vehicles. I was hoping I was going to get

like a little, what do you call a little Chevy Spark plug or something? I don't know.

Chevy Bolt? Sure. But I just, you know, with my experiences on social media,

I don't want to sit in a fast moving piece of technology that this guy had anything to do with.

Didn't inspire trust in me and the rearview mirror truly felt like I could crumple it in my hands

like a piece of aluminum foil. Just very janky feeling. I got me where I needed to go safely.

Bojangles. I've had two opportunities to drive a Tesla and both of the times it felt like I was

driving the Batmobile, but it was literally only for about, you know, five minutes each time.

Also a very challenge. I hope it didn't rain because it's a five-step process to turn on the

windshield. Or something. You press a button on the control, you know, on the physical

wand or whatever it is where you normally find the windshield wipers, but then you have to go to

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