Horses

Shut up a Second

Sanspants Radio

Comedy

4.8 • 535 Ratings

🗓️ 30 November 2016

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In which our heroes shake their glorious manes, clop their spectacular hooves, and do that thing where their lips pull back and their scary teeth are revealed as we discuss horses. We talk the fluffiness of Clydesdale, the stupidity of turkeys, and mass sheep suicide. Adam demands the internet prove him wrong, Cass puts little horses on a shelf, and Jackson just feels like aliens would be incredibly disappointed by earths animals. So whinny and bray and do all the good horse noises to the delight of passerby. Not one horse gets murdered this time. I think.Want to help Jackson impress the aliens? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can make more interesting animals

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Sanspans Radio. Go out and buy Jets album. It's good.
0:04.3	Are you a fat potato-shaped individual like myself?
0:08.2	Do you sometimes wish you weren't? Well, why not join me, my good friend Adam, and my partner
0:13.7	Ems on our new podcast, Super Gym Friends, as we're taken under the hairy, sweaty and swall
0:19.5	wing of our healthy mate, Jamie, as he tries to help us be less like an unsexy and disgusting potato and more like a super sexy and sveled eggplant.
0:29.3	Because let's face it, you might fuck a potato, but you'd make love to an eggplant.
0:34.7	Hey everybody, welcome to this week's episode of Shut Up a Second. I'm Adam.
0:38.5	I'm Adam. I'm Cass.
0:39.3	And today's topic is horses.
0:43.8	Winnie.
0:44.8	Hooves.
0:50.3	I had a hypothetical, but Adam, before we started recording, you said, if you could be any type of horse, what would it be? So that one?
0:59.3	I'd be a Clydesdale, because it's the biggest. That's a good answer. You won. We were trying to figure out which one was the biggest.
1:07.1	And it's Clydesdale. Objectively speaking. This horse is a massive. I've never seen one in comparison to a regular horse. There's a horse that's a farm in Bandura that has a Clydesdale and its heads like twice my head. It's not. Oh, that's so big. It's so big. I always imagine for some reason, I know this is not right, but horses' heads are about the size of human heads, but just like you pulled on someone's nose real far. Longer, but they've got a bit more heft to that. I feel like all horse heads are bigger than human heads. Yeah. I don't know if that's true, Adam. I'll make that claim. I don't care. You prove me wrong, internet. I feel like you could fit the skull of a human in a horse's skull.
1:45.3	Shake it around by the snout.
1:47.3	Just riddle it like some sort of macabre around.
1:49.3	Imagine finding the horse's skull with the human skull inside it.
1:53.5	You would not know what to think.
1:56.3	You probably would bury it and move on.
2:00.3	What horse? I've chosen Clydesd now, so I've won, but who's going to be second best? Can I just ask a question? Sure. A Clydesdale's fluffier than regular horses? They've got big old fluffy moves, don't they? Oh, that's nice. Also, what's a regular horse? Because it turns out there are other types. Palomino is the normal horse.
2:18.5	I'll make that claim.
2:19.4	Prove me wrong, internet.
	...

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