Hope Edelman: ...how to deal with grief, the pandemic, and the holidays

Nobody Told Me!

Entrepreneurship, Business

4.2 • 671 Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2020

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This year, more than any other in the lives of most of us, has been a year of pain and loss. We’ve watched helplessly as family, friends, and even strangers on television describe losing people they care about to the pandemic. How do we process these losses?

Our guest on this episode, Hope Edelman, is an internationally recognized expert in the field of grief. Hope was a teenager when her mother passed away and she says the death of a loved one isn’t something we get over, get past, put down or move beyond. She’s written extensively on the topic and is the author of the books, Motherless Daughters and Motherless Mothers, among others. Her newest book is called, The AfterGrief: Finding Your Way Along the Long Arc of Grief.

You can read the episode transcript at https://www.nobodytoldmeshow.com/post/how-to-deal-with-grief-the-pandemic-and-the-holidays.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Nobody Told Me. I'm Laura Owens. And I'm Jan Black. This year more than any other has been a year of pain and loss. We've watched helplessly as family,
0:23.3	friends, and even strangers on television describe losing people they care about to the pandemic.
0:28.4	How do we process these losses? Well, our guest on this episode, Hope Edelman, is an internationally
0:34.0	recognized expert in the field of grief. Hope was a teenager when her mother passed away,
0:39.2	and she says the death of a loved one isn't something we get over, get past, put down, or move beyond.
0:45.6	She's written extensively on the topic and is the author of the book's motherless daughters
0:50.1	and motherless mothers, among others. Her newest book is called The After Grief, Finding Your
0:56.5	Your Way Along the Long Ark of Grief. Hope we thank you so very much for joining us.
1:02.1	Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. Tell us more about what you mean by the term after grief.
1:08.6	Well, as you mentioned, my mother died when I was 17. My father died when I was 40.
1:14.4	So both of those losses are now for me in the past. And like many of your listeners, I'm sure,
1:20.1	and maybe even yourself, after a major loss, I kept bumping up against these cultural messages
1:26.2	that grief was something I would get over.
1:28.5	I would get past. I would move on. There were all of these platitudes about getting back to life.
1:35.1	And what I discovered, you know, over as the, especially as the decades passed, was that
1:39.6	the people I loved who had died were still very much a part of me. I needed to keep them somehow
1:45.6	in my present in some type of relationship. And I didn't have a lot of guidance about how that
1:52.0	might work. So I started writing the after grief because I thought, what does grief look like
1:57.8	20 years later, 30 years later, especially if we had a loss during
2:01.6	our very formative years, during our childhood or our teenage years or young adulthood.
2:07.1	And there wasn't even a vocabulary to discuss it. And I remember just thinking, what comes after
2:12.1	grief? Like what comes after grief? Because it's not grief anymore. It's not like I'm waking
	...

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