From Everywhere USA, it's Fox Across America with Jimmy Failure.

Hello America.

This doesn't sound like Jimmy.

Probably not as funny as Jimmy.

So who fits that bill?

None other than me, Todd Patrick Pyro.

Fox and Friends First co-host, along with the lovely Carly Schimpkiss,

5 a.m. Eastern every single weekday morning.

In for our friend Jimmy Fala, who's out, gallivanting across America, hence the name of his show, Fox Across America.

Always thankful when Jimmy lets me run the show here a little bit, and by run the show, I mean,

do whatever the fine producers, Frank and Joshua, tell me to do.

And that's how it rolls.

A couple of things, a couple of notes.

I know you guys like to score at home, so here we go.

Obviously, Jimmy's a comedian.

I am not intentionally going to be as funny as Jimmy. If I turn out to make you laugh as much as

Jimmy does during a normal three-hour show, that means something has gone horribly wrong. My

intention is seriousness with a side of humor. If it's all humor, again, this could be my final day at Fox. So just brace yourself

for the next three hours. We don't know what's going to happen. Buckle up. We're going to have fun.

Okay, so take a look at your calendar. Today is December 1st. I know I spent this entire holiday weekend

decorating for the upcoming holiday. That, of course, being Christmas,

put the main tree up. The kids help me decorate. By help me, I mean, they did the bottom layers

...