I have had moments where I'm exhausted. I'm more tired perhaps than I even realize and then I lash out.

I say something I regret and this only happens

occasionally just like last night. I want to encourage you though that with some

rest you can actually hold your tongue and I'm John Fuller along with Greg Smalley and his wife

Aaron. They lead the Focus Marriage Team. We're going to hear now from Ted Lowe who

talks about why it's important to guard your thoughts and words and to show up as the best you in the

relationship with your spouse. Here he is talking with Focus President Jim

Daly about connecting with your spouse's interests. Do you have time to even flash that through your mind?

I mean, our minds work incredibly fast.

They're amazing what God has created.

But for you to say, whoa, okay, how would I treat my friend before I say this to my spouse that'd be a great question

I think I'm gonna try to do that but just hopefully it can catch me before my mouth speaks

well there's a chapter on what do you think about your response

because when your brain is triggered by your spouse it's this called the

amygdala it's the same part of your brain that's triggered if you were to

accidentally put your hand on a hot stove

Boom boom the frontal lobe which is where all your logic is goes out to lunch so people are so

reactive so I the amygdala is great, but it's too efficient when it comes to marriage and so

James 119 and 20 this is where I love have scripture and science they have no conflict whatsoever on this you know if your brain is triggered and you're not thinking for a solid eight seconds

what is James 119 to 20 be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry

I will say personally the most regrettable moments in my life as a dad and as a

husband is when I did not pause. So that one of the five intentional thoughts is

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