In your relationship, a deep-seated wound from your childhood can really make an impact on how you relate to each other. I'm John Fuller along with Dr.

Greg Smalley and his wife Aaron. Together they lead the marriage team here at

Focus on the Family and Aaron those childhood wounds, I might not even be aware of something that took place, but it's

still kind of informing and influencing who I am and how I show up today.

Why is that?

Yeah, anytime we have a big reaction and maybe it's even just inside,

like your heart starts racing and lots is going on inside. I will always explore like what

happened back in the day, back during childhood from your family of origin and

yeah oftentimes it's not anything

ginormous but something happened that we picked up this belief about

ourselves a lie about who we are and typically they're tied to these deeper level emotions and they become

these tender spots so when it gets triggered in the present it takes us right back to the past

because our brain doesn't differentiate what happened back in the day during

childhood and what's happening in the present.

I heard somebody once observed that emotions from the past can show up and feel as real today as they were 5, 10, 25 years ago.

Is it right?

Your brain captures all that in the amygdala and so often then as you're taking in information that Amigdala will hijack that information if it's reminded of a trauma or something that's happened in the past

So absolutely well I'm glad that we can talk about this and we're going to turn now to a conversation focused president Jim Daly had with Carrie and Tony Newhoff who shared on a prior episode or two how they reached a point where Tony said she was done

she wanted out of the marriage here's more of their story.

Tony and Carrie welcome back. Thank you for having us.

I'm thrilled to be here.

Man what a what a part one we had yesterday.

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