Hoes Throughout History: THEODORA!

Confidently Insecure

Kelsey Darragh

Society & Culture, Education, Comedy

4.8 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 1 September 2025

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this week’s Hoes Throughout History, Kelsey dives into the scandalous, petty, and downright iconic life of Theodora of Byzantium - the actress-turned-courtesan who flipped the script and became Empress of the Byzantine Empire.

From slut-shaming gossip in the history books to changing laws for women, Theodora’s story is messy, powerful, and oh-so-relevant. We’ll cover:

Her rise from stage girl to co-ruler 👑
The social reforms that gave hoes rights in 500 CE ✨
The infamous “Purple is a fine color for a burial shroud” speech that saved Constantinople from burning 🔥

Get comfy, grab your coffee, and let’s talk about how a “hoe” became the woman who held an empire together.

👉 Don’t forget to rate, review, and tell me: what’s YOUR purple shroud hill?

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, welcome to confidently and secure.
0:08.5	The podcast we're absolutely sure.
0:09.8	We don't know everything.
0:12.7	Oh, my God, I am your host, Kelsey Dara.
0:15.4	And y'all, this might be the most chaotic episode of confidently, confidently insecure I've ever done.
0:24.7	Because some housekeeping.
0:26.7	Oh my God.
0:26.9	I'm literally sweating, y'all.
0:28.7	I'm probably out of breath too.
0:30.1	Let me just take a breath.
0:30.9	Here we go.
0:31.2	Let's do a cleansing breath.
0:35.5	I hope that helped a little.
0:37.7	I, this is going to be the most insane episode ever because I, last minute, on a whim,
0:44.3	very impulsively bought a ticket to Munich, Germany to go visit the athlete.
0:51.3	This is a couple days ago and I'm supposed to leave like less than 30 minutes ago and I'm
0:58.4	just now recording this episode. I was like, I will not leave until this fucking episode is
1:03.7	recorded. I don't care if I'm late for an international flight. I'm going to do this
1:08.5	freaking episode because I don't want it to be late. I don't want to
1:11.2	miss an episode. And this is one of my favorite segments. This is a host throughout history. Now,
1:17.4	this is going to be a little different. We've never done this before because I asked a friend,
1:22.3	a former producer and lovely, lovely friend of the pod to actually write the script for me.
	...

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