Hit me with your rhythm stick & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 1 May 2026

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the collective for a week of blocked sinks, fake hospital letters, and staff training-day chaos.

First, Susie’s raspberry-peach smoothie turns into a fermented crime scene that takes out the call-centre kitchenette. Then Jeanette commits peak springtime mischief by forging a hospital letter recommending “Morris dancing therapy” for her grumpy husband’s dodgy knee. Plus, Maurice’s 1966 snow-sculpture disaster, and Stan’s drama-teacher mate who sleepwalks into an unwanted performance.

Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you want to save a few quid, British gas have a way, you get half-price leky, and it's called Peek Save.
0:06.0	On every Sunday, it's the smart thing to do, if you're regular folk, or furry and blue.
0:13.0	Eleven till four, let the good times begin. You could charge up the car or take the dryer for a spin.
0:19.0	Half-price electricity.
0:21.4	What joy that brings.
0:23.3	With British gas peak save, we're taking care of things.
0:27.2	T's and C supply eligible tariffs and smart meter required.
0:30.3	Craving a little sunshine.
0:32.1	Virgin Atlantic holidays has the answer.
0:34.7	This is your sign to high-five a superhero
0:37.5	before breakfast in Florida
0:39.2	or rainforests
0:41.2	trek to hidden waterfalls
0:42.8	in the Caribbean
0:43.6	or step off your pair
0:45.5	into the bluest of blue water
0:47.5	in the Maldives.
0:49.1	With Flying Club,
0:50.0	save up to £300 this bank
0:51.9	holiday weekend.
0:53.0	Book in store
0:53.5	over the phone or online at Virgin Atlantic holidays.
	...

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