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Assalamu alaikum. My brothers and sisters when we have children we have great expectations

and we feel our children should behave in a certain way, be a certain way, look a certain way

and perhaps later on we want them to achieve something, we want them to marry the way we would like

and we expect a lot. I want to tell you reality is you have to change that as time passes.

Yes we all have expectations but Allah has given your children and mine different capacities.

They may never be able to achieve what you want them to achieve. It may be possible

but you cannot put so much of pressure upon them that they snap.

A lot of the times we want our children to get grades and they cannot make it.

Let them enjoy their lives at school for as long as they are trying their best

and still they bring about a result that may not be the best. They are still your children.

They will still succeed in inshaAllah so don't let it destroy you and destroy them.

By being too hard on them we have great expectations I know but they may let us down

or they may not have the capacity, the God given capacity to fulfil what you are dreaming about

that they should be fulfilling. Similarly when it comes to marriage

we want our children to marry a particular type of a person. They may not want that.

Your dreams that you have had for the children need to be adjusted based on reality.

It is not just a dream based on something ideal in your mind.

You know as time passes you may have to adjust things. They may do certain things that are very embarrassing.

Help them. They may do things that are unacceptable. Guide them. Be there for them.

Teach them again and again. Remember don't yell and scream at your children.

Don't swear your children. That is prohibited. It is prohibited. You are not allowed to swear.

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