Hey, How You Feeling? Primary and Secondary Emotions Explained!
The Virtual Couch
Tony Overbay LMFT
4.9 • 668 Ratings
🗓️ 20 January 2020
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Have you ever been scared by a friend? Chances are your first, or primary emotion, was fear! That's perfectly normal, after all, you're human. But what emotion follows after the initial fear response? Do you get angry because your friend scared you? Where did that anger come from? Was it because you were actually embarrassed that you dropped your phone, or that you let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush? Those feelings that swoop in immediately after a reaction are typically called your "secondary emotions" and those keep us away from staying in the present moment. Today we explore the world of primary and secondary emotions, and, how learning where they come from will help you better recognize and deal with them in a more healthy, present, way.In this episode, Tony refers to the article "What are Primary and Secondary Emotions" by Nadia Khan first posted on Betterhelp.com https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/what-are-primary-and-secondary-emotions/-This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, which includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Coming up on today's episode of the virtual couch, primary and secondary emotions. |
| 0:04.8 | Let's say that your friend scares you, and I'm talking a big scare. |
| 0:08.1 | You immediately react with fear because you're human. |
| 0:10.9 | But what comes next? |
| 0:12.2 | What's that secondary emotion? |
| 0:13.7 | Is it anger? |
| 0:14.5 | Is it embarrassment? |
| 0:15.7 | We're going to talk about how to tap into those primary emotions, and doing so is going to keep you far more present, which |
| 0:22.6 | leads to a much more fulfilling life. That and more coming up on today's episode of the virtual |
| 0:28.3 | couch. |
| 0:40.1 | Hey, everybody, I'll make this one quick. |
| 0:43.4 | Now, as a therapist myself, of course, I recommend that everybody give therapy a try. |
| 0:46.4 | Truly, we're all hanging on to some things that would be helpful to process, |
| 0:49.4 | or there's things in our life that we might, maybe we thought we'd achieve by now, or there's things that we desperately want to achieve so that we won't live a life full of regrets. |
| 0:53.9 | Or there are people listening right now who may be noticing that their anxiety or their depression is getting a tiny bit more, let's call it amplified, the longer that it's left untreated. You owe it to yourself or those around you, to your spouse, your kids, and actually I guess really the most important person is you to at the very least give therapy a try. So if you're nervous about finding the right fit, if you're worried about bumping into somebody |
| 1:13.5 | in a therapy waiting room, if you have any worries about therapy, might I recommend that you go |
| 1:18.1 | immediately to betterhelp.com slash virtual couch. |
| 1:21.2 | Again, that's betterhelp.com slash virtual couch, all one word. |
| 1:25.0 | And take a look at the world of online therapy. |
| 1:27.0 | Go check out what over 500,000 people have already done before you, and sign up right now. Go to betterhelp.com slash virtual couch. You'll get the help that you need. You'll get 10% off your first month services. They have a broad range of expertise in their counselor network, which might not be locally available in many areas. The service is available wherever you live. It's worldwide, and you can log into your account at any time and send a message to your counselor. You can get a timely and thoughtful response. Plus, you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. So you don't ever have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room as with traditional therapy, although I maintain that my waiting room is very nice and comfortable. BetterHelp.com will assess your needs, match you with your own licensed professional therapists, and they have therapists that specialize in everything, all kinds of things. |
| 2:05.2 | OCD, anxiety, depression. They use modalities such as acceptance and commitment therapy, my favorite. |
| 2:10.8 | And you can start communicating typically in under 24 hours. |
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