Heseltine’s Mace (pt 1)
The Socially Distant Sports Bar
Nata Media
4.8 • 3.3K Ratings
🗓️ 28 April 2026
⏱️ 60 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Elis James, Mike Bubbins and Steff Garrero return with another trip to The Socially Distant Sports Bar — catching up on life, sport and culture with strong opinions and zero expertise.
PART 1
Elis and Mike catch up on their week, with the usual modern cultural references of Michael Heseltine and Karen Carpenter, before diving into the sporting moments that caught their attention.
- Elis: Reflecting on the career of Aaron Ramsey
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pki069juAH8
- Mike: Emma Hayes on understanding menstrual cycles in elite women’s sport
- https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW7ZwC6P-ZC/?igsh=MW44M3JibXNvdGo1aQ==
- Steff: Diego Maradona — and his unique relationship with the football
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqzXw3fygBg
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Coming up on this week's distant port. |
| 0:04.5 | Well, just at uni, sat in the SU. Go on, you've got your lectures, I'll be here now. Yeah, I'm having a... Dad's having another all day, yeah. The reason how creative players tenders be on the wing was that if you look at the weather in Wales, that's where the grasses. It's true, though, isn't it? So, you know. Where he reacted in a Spanish Cup final in front of the king. |
| 0:23.3 | We'll stop fucking kicking him every. It's true, though, isn't it? So, you know... The way he reacted in a Spanish Cup final in front of the king. |
| 0:23.3 | We'll stop fucking kicking him every two minutes. |
| 0:26.5 | To be fair to him. |
| 0:27.9 | He does come in with that horizontal, proper kung fu, kung fu kick, didn't he? |
| 0:40.3 | Yeah. The The I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm and I'm and I'm I'm I'm I'm Yeah, here. |
| 1:20.1 | Yo-J, yo-jee! |
| 1:22.0 | Lovely stuff. |
| 1:23.3 | Yeah, here, here. |
| 1:25.0 | Yeah. |
| 1:27.2 | Do you know, you're not allowed to applaud in the House of Commons? You're not allowed to applaud? No, that's why they sort of wave their things and show here. Is it? Yeah, you're not allowed to applaud. I didn't know that. Why not? Some bloody thing, some tradition back in the day. Yeah. Same reason the distance between the two benches is two sword lengths and an inch or something, symbolically. |
| 1:46.6 | Is a sword a standard size? |
| 1:49.4 | Well, the one in there is. |
| 1:50.8 | Okay, you know, is that? |
| 1:51.8 | There's a sword in there. |
| 1:53.0 | Michael Heseltine. |
| 1:54.4 | Which, we wave the mace. |
| 1:56.0 | Wave the mace. |
| 1:57.5 | I love being 50. |
| 2:02.0 | The fact that we throw that out there is a fact everyone's going to know. |
| 2:05.3 | Hey, Michael Heseltine. |
... |
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