Helping Your Spouse With Boundaries | Ep. 375

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Relationships, Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Christianity

4.9 • 813 Ratings

🗓️ 7 November 2019

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Can we implement boundaries with our spouse? Is it loving? Is it Christ-centered?

Boundaries in marriage may seem counterintuitive to some, but we believe it should be normal and natural in a marriage.

In this episode, Dr. Kim and Christina share about boundaries with your spouse: why you need them, examples of what they might be, and how to implement them. If you have never thought about boundaries with your spouse, we hope this conversation is helpful to you and that it provides you with some great talking points that you and your spouse can explore as you work to have a healthier, happier, holier marriage.

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

"You can help your spouse see that they might need to set a boundary with someone by asking them questions." - Dr. Kim
"You can encourage your spouse to learn about boundaries but also be willing to walk with them through what that will look like." - Christina
"Always offer your thoughts on your spouse's situation as a suggestion, not as a solution to their problem." - Dr. Kim
"You might need to set a boundary with someone if you're taking on their consequences." - Christina
"If you've never set boundaries before start setting them in safe places first." - Christina
"Remember that if someone doesn't respond to the boundaries that you set in a healthy way, you can only control yourself, you can't control how they will react." - Dr. Kim
"It sounds silly but role playing setting boundaries with your spouse can be really helpful for them to prepare for those hard conversations." - Christina
"Let your spouse know that you are not going to stop loving them if they set a healthy boundary with you." - Christina

Transcript

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0:00.0	Setting boundaries can be really hard for some people, especially if we're adults and have
0:08.4	gone our whole lives ignoring boundaries and never having been empowered to set them before.
0:12.9	If your spouse needs to set boundaries with others but isn't, it can be hard to watch them
0:17.3	suffer from the consequences of a lack of healthy boundaries.
0:21.8	Maybe your spouse has an unhealthy relationship with their parents or a friend or at work with an employer or co-worker. You can't
0:27.6	set boundaries before your spouse and you certainly can't change your spouse, but you can help them
0:32.4	by loving them and encouraging them to set boundaries. In this episode, Dr. Kim and I share about how to help your spouse with boundaries.
0:40.1	We pray you find this episode helpful.
0:42.4	Stay tuned to hear more.
0:44.9	Welcome to the Awesome Marriage Podcast, a place for honest conversations about marriage
0:49.2	and practical advice on how to have a God-honoring awesome marriage.
0:53.6	I am your podcast producer and co-host Christina Dodson.
0:56.8	On the show will be your host, Dr. Kim Kimberling.
0:59.5	Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 40 years.
1:03.7	His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship.
1:11.7	So why do you think some people have such a hard time setting boundaries?
1:15.6	I think a lot of times we don't know how to do it.
1:17.7	Or maybe we've had people set boundaries with us that really weren't boundaries.
1:20.8	They tried to control us or manipulate us.
1:23.1	So we, you know, we got maybe a bad taste about boundaries or maybe, you know, I think sometimes
1:28.1	as Christians, we, you know, I've had people that say, well, I just, I need my spouse's help. I really
1:32.5	need help, but I'll just keep doing it myself. It's just easier to do myself. And then when I see
	...

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