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As adults most of us can understand the nuance between happiness and joy, but how do you teach that

to your children, especially if they're young?

I'm John Fuller, along with Danny Wertaa who directs our parenting and youth team here at

Focus on the Family. And, Danny, helping children learn how to be joyful can be kind of tricky.

When we celebrate or comfort them with rewards, they may equate their happiness with stuff

or personal gain. Help us out here.

You want to help kids learn how to reach gratitude quickly as kids early on.

At the age of around 18 months kids have the capacity to have empathy and can draw off of other people's emotions.

And that very same development in their brain early on can create a very big sensitivity to rewards.

And so early on if you say hey you did this

so I'm going to give you this they have a dopamine release and it's very

exciting to get that reward so what you want to do is help them learn to have that

reward in relationship, celebrating together

accomplishments that you've done, maybe cleaning the house or goals you've set for the home,

meal times, and celebrating and they'll learn you'll set up a culture in your home

of learning to celebrate and that's rewarding enough looking at other people

receiving things is very rewarding.

But our tendency is to give rewards

so that your child is happy,

so they're receiving something really special, and we love to see their reaction of

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