Hi, this is Janet Lambsbury. Welcome to Unruffled. In this week's episode of Unruffled, I'm going to be responding to the parent of a four-year-old daughter who is concerned that her daughter seems to need constant attention to the point that she says she's avoiding taking her out or having friends over because her friends and families see her as a bad mom. She wants to know what she can do to stop this excessive attention seeking.

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Here's the note I received. Hi Janet, I'm a huge follower of your work. I have a four-year-old daughter who's very sharp, observant and talkative.

Lately, she has started interrupting us a lot. She won't let us talk with friends, family or over the phone. It has to be about her all the time. It is becoming very embarrassing.

Our friends have started commenting on the same and I feel defeated. Even when she's playing or coloring, she will call for our attention.

Lately, she has also started being a lot more defiant, especially in public.

Won't hold hands on the street. We'll ask for other kids' toys, we'll cry in public, etc.

It's gotten to a point where I avoid taking our out or having friends over. I literally am crying as I write this because my friends and family see me as a bad mom.

I don't know what I can do to stop this excessive attention-seeking, defiant behavior of our daughter.

PS, my husband changed his job so we switched cities four months back. He has been traveling since then and is home only for weekends and even then he is working. Maybe our daughter is still processing this change.

Please, please help me out. Thanks.

Okay, so I love that she included this PS because I imagine her daughter is still processing a change moving houses switching cities four months ago.

That was a big loss for this girl. Even the most positive change in terms of moving is also a loss of the familiar.

Perhaps that was the only home that she knew and regardless, I'm sure she had routines there. She was comfortable moving is tough.

So that's very likely part of this and then whatever the parents are feeling, the stress that they might have is also going to be added into the mix because children absorb that and they process it out in a sense reflected back to us.

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