Hey, mini group. Hey guys, episode 161. I was just recording this and then I was like, I don't like what I'm saying. I don't like this at all. And you know what? This is probably going to be... This is such a different podcast. Jeff is not here. He is back in Chicago with his family where he needs to be. Prayers to the charotters and the sardee family. So sad. You all who have been tuning in for months have known something's been going on, but Jeff just hasn't been ready to talk about it because he couldn't talk about it because he's just so upset on the news he got about his mom. And she was, you know what, I'll let Jeff share this because I don't know what he wants to share and I don't want to share too much and I want Jeff to be here to talk about it, which I don't know if he's even ready to still talk about it. He's been grieving for months since his mom found out the news that she found out. I'll let Jeff share that. I am just going to get on here and talk today because I told Jeff that I would do this podcast while he was gone and we have a job to do and I was like, I'm not gonna cry today. And I think Jeff and I have done a lot of crying these past couple of months. Just the grieving process, Jeff's mom was amazing.

I said it was a good cry.

Sorry.

I probably won't do a whole 30 minutes today because I don't think I can't. I feel like you guys are like family-opened with us, the Peru, everything. Jebs had a really heart to year, you know? And I feel bad for him. I feel bad for his family. I feel bad for our kids. They don't know yet. We haven't told them. Because it's, oh, how do you tell your kids? I didn't think that we would, I thought, you know, you don't ever think anybody's gonna pass away. You don't think anything's gonna happen. And I thought whenever this did happen, our kids would be maybe in high school. And we wouldn't have to do this when they were young. But we're considering getting a puppy. I never thought I would say that. I never thought I would say I was gonna get a dog, but we're considering getting a dog because I think right now everybody's like super sad. And when I doubt the kids, they're gonna be pretty upset. So I told Jeff, I was like, maybe we should get a dog. I think that will bring some happiness to you.

That will bring some happiness to the boys.

And I feel so bad for Jeff's dad.

His parents have been together since high school.

And they're just wonderful people.

And Jeff's mom, I loved her.

She, I told her too much. I talked to her like I talked to my mom. This is probably, when Jeff called and told me the news, I left my house and there's a church down the street and you can't go in the church. And I sat in the church parking lot and I sat a prayer for Mary that she would get home and pray praying over Jeff and that he would find the strength because he's been grieving and so sad. I tried to find a guest, so I could interview them so I wouldn't have to cry, but it doesn't feel right talking about other things. It doesn't feel right. Being like, oh, so this is what's going on today. And this is in the news and complaining about stuff when you know people you love are hurting. So it's, this is the only thing that feels right now is just to share and talk about this. And sorry again that I'm crying. I told myself I wasn't going to, but it's hard not to. But yeah, again, I don't know how long I'm going to talk on here today. I just wanted to get on here and try to do this podcast episode and get it done. Y'all would be very proud of me. As soon as Jeff left, you know how that goes when everything starts breaking. I watched a YouTube video because our dryer wasn't working and it wasn't heating up the clothes. So I watched YouTube video I had a head limp on and everything and I My dad walks upstairs and I'm halfway in the dryer. He's like what are you doing? I'm like I'm trying to fix it instead of calling somebody to fix it. I know I can fix it and you know what the hardest part is Well, was all the lent, everything built up. I had to clean it all out. The hardest part was putting it back together and putting, and I thought that was gonna be the easiest part. I'm like, wait, where did this screw go? Where did that go? I should have taken a picture, like the whole time, that's like what I was thinking of. And it took me probably four hours, but I got it done. And that I was like, I called Jeff. I said, you'd be very proud of me. I tried to make him laugh during this hard time. I go, I fixed the dryer, me out of all people. And then I fixed a couple other things. So I've been getting things done. And then of course, something's wrong with the toilet. So I had to call somebody and Jeff goes, why does everything break when I leave town? I go, I have no idea why that happens. It's like you go out normally like when you go out of town on vacation and you have so much fun. There's always something either something with your house or you get some crazy bill that you're like, wait, I didn't know I had to pay that. It just always happens, but I'm like, rambling so much. I have just been trying to hold it together for the kids. And it's it's hard. It's so hard. And being strong for Jeff and trying to lift him up. But going

back to Mary, if I can get through this without crying. But yeah, she, I'm going to miss.

I'd love to check in text messages. It was always, hey, Jordan, how are you? How are the boys? Are you okay? You know, it should always be like, are you okay? And they're always brighter back something funny,, but like Jeff's mom I could always share exactly how I was feeling. So Jeff made me mad. I would tell her, you know, sometimes some things you're not supposed to tell your mother and all I would I would tell her, and sometimes some things you're not supposed to tell your mother-in-law, I would tell her, wait too much. And we would just laugh. And Chris was dying. She always would give ornaments. These Christmas ornaments that I loved getting those and I started doing that at our house. I told Jeff, I said, I'm going to skip Halloween and I'm just going to put up Christmas this year. I was late because just a year you've had, you know, just you lost your job, six months of no job, you get a job, and then you get news about your mom. And then this happens. And I was like, you've just had a rough year. I was like, I'm going to put Christmas up because it makes me happy. All right. If you guys watch this podcast, I think you know me talking about Jordan's obsession with sunglasses. I do. I have a million pair and I just can't stop buying sunglasses. I have all different types, all different price ranges. Well, hopefully this solves your sunglasses problem because we got a new product called Zenny and they make prescription and regular sunglasses for everybody. I love going on their site because I like creating and designing my own things and that's exactly what Zenny's website does. You go on there, you pick your frames, I'm an aviator guy, you could pick if you want them tinted, if you need prescriptions, you could upload your prescription, get all the different colors, they even have engraving on some of the sunglasses. I got mine. I put big Jeff on the side. But it's fun making your own pair of sunglasses. And they are affordable. I got big green square sunglasses. I got together myths on the inside of the sunglasses. I got polarized and they were $50. more affordable than anywhere that you would find. That's right. So you go to zenny.com, you pick a frame, you upload it, you could put in your prescription if you want and they ship it right to your door. No appointment, no store, no upsell at the counter, which is becoming my favorite part these days. Yeah. And it's so the process is so easy. Like once you find a pair, it's so at the steps that you have to take to order your sunglasses. It makes it so simple and so easy and you get them really quick. Yes, and I got the pair that starts at blue and it kind of gradually goes like to the clear. That's what I got. There's so many glasses to choose from and they're all affordable. That's why we choose Zeni Optical. So if your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenny.com slash together mess and use code together mess 15 for 15% off your very first order. The style is set a quick, so don't sit on it. That's ZE N N I dot com slash together mess. That's M EESS in promo code together mess 15. I'm gonna miss her Christmas ornaments. And every year a week of four my birthday. I owe she always was on time with the birthday cards and me and Mary's birthdays are three days apart. And I always got my pink envelope and like her sweet note.

So then... with the birthday cards and me and Mary's birthdays are three days apart. And I always got my pink envelope and like her sweet note. So things like that I'm gonna miss. I remember getting off a big brother. I'm gonna switch gears. So I'm gonna be all over the place you guys. Like I said, this episode might not even be any good at all. But I told Jeff that I would do the episodes and I'm'm gonna do it. And I'm gonna get through them, and I'm gonna do them this week. Okay, so when I got off pick brother, and you know normally when you meet the parents, it's kinda, well, I mean, I haven't been with anybody since I was, I mean, Jeff, I met Jeff when I was 22. So I didn't really, you know, I was a kid before and the people you dated before, it's not the people you're gonna marry. So I was nervous about going to Chicago, meeting Jeff's family because I didn't know what to expect. I was like, I don't know how they are. And then Jeff at the time was more of a

spitfire and fiery. And then I meet his parents and his dad is like the quietest guy, so laid back. doesn't say anything and his mom was just so sweet and I didn't know because you

always you know, movies or things you see people talking about Italians. I didn't know what she would be. Oh, it's here. Oh, perfect. I had a package you guys. My dad was upstairs waiting that I had a sign for and I was waiting. I'm so glad my dad was there to get that package for me. So sorry, that's another thing. Random going on here. But first time meeting Jeff's parents and she was so welcoming and so sweet. It was not like the movies where it's like this mean Italian mother because I I was like, oh no, I'm the opposite of them. And I am. I'm the complete opposite of Jeff's family and how I grew up. And they are just wonderful. And she just accepted me. And I, again, that I think like the bond, I think it helped that I was on big brother and she watched Jeff and I and she probably watched the feeds. I don't know if she did, but I want to say maybe they did at that time, but I could be wrong. And so then they feel like they know you when they when they meet you. So then when when you're meeting them, it's so much easier because they've been watching you for three months. But you don't know any of them, but they're like, hi, and asking you questions about the show. And she, I think that's how it all started. Like me just opening up to her and just being so open and honest about everything again. I was Too blunt sometimes about things Jeff's like some things need to be left private and We I just would have the best time with her and I remember Jeff's parents house the one he grew up in we would sit at the table and She would drink her coffee and we would sit there. I'm not even joking for like two three hours Jeff's dad would go play basketball or go somewhere and We would just talk about everything and I loved gossiping gossiping with her about celebrities and And her cousins Jeff's mom has the best cousins. They are all so wonderful. And Mary would always make sure that I felt included and felt like I loved and just, she, that's the type of person she was. Like Like she was very selfless. She was not selfish at all. She was always worried about everyone else and not herself. She always wanted to make sure everybody was comfortable. Everybody was okay. If you came there to stay, whenever we would come, she

would always have like little baskets of toys for the boys, like from the dollar store or something. And the air mattresses were always blown. Everything was always organized. Oh, when speaking of this, because the air mattresses make me think of it. Another thing that I will miss is her random QVC stuff she would buy.

So I would one one of the texts I sent her, I think this is before she found out she was sick. I was getting my toes done and they had QVC on and I took a picture of it and I was told her I was thinking of her because QVC just makes me think of Jeff's mom. And then my gifts, she would get Jeff when we were dating. It would be like, oh, I found this on QVC. And it was just so cute and just so sweet. But she always, always was thinking of everyone. And when Jeff has been, which people don't know, Jeff has been going since May. He's been flying every other weekend back to Chicago to be with his family. But, you know, we don't post that stuff because not everything on social media needs to be documented about your life, what you're doing, what you're eating, and especially things like this, like what you're going through. I know people now are just comfortable and post every single thing. And this is something obviously that you want to keep to yourself. It's no one's business what you're going through. And you know, it took Jeff to do that post. He called me before he posted. And because he was upset and I told him, I was like, well, you do what you want to do. Like if you want to post this, I go, everybody kind of knows something anyways. Because of you guys, you all been following us through this whole journey, this whole couple of months. And now, I can't fix, I can't heal Jeff's broken heart. I can't do that. But I can make sure he's standing and moving forward and getting through it and giving him the space he needs to grieve and just showing up, I think that's the most important thing right now is showing up and just being there for him. If he needs to cry, cry, if he needs a space, give him a space, if he needs Faction if he needs to be sad and I told him all of that. I was like you have to let me know you have to tell me How you're how you're feeling and communicate with me because this is the first time I've experienced this was somebody close I haven't had anybody close to me pass away in a very long time. So I don't really know what to do. And I have to give a shout out to my friend. I don't know if she still listens to our podcast or not. But she's been my friend since we were in fifth grade. and dad suddenly passed away a couple years ago. And she has been amazing through this whole thing because she's one of the people when Jeff found out about his mom with being sick that I talked to because I knew she was somebody that experienced it. She knows me. And I was like, she will be the person to get me through this. And she's just been so helpful in talking to me about like the grieving process and emotions because people don't really talk about this stuff, you know. And again, like I said, I think, gosh, we've cried more than, um, we've cried more this year than I think I ever have. Again, and sorry, I keep saying, I'm kind of all over the place today. I don't even really know. I didn't really have a plan where this podcast was gonna go today, this episode. I said I was just going to sit down and just start talking and talk about my feelings, but I don't want it again, I don't want to say too much because I want Jeff to be here to share his story and talk about it. I just wanted to get on here and talk about how amazing his mom was and she is going to be so missed. And it's, I was in my room the other night and I was sitting there and it's when something like this happens, it's like your world stops. Someone you're close with like this and everything else, the world doesn't stop. Everything else keeps going. It's just like, oh, tomorrow's the next day. Oh, are we gonna do our same routine? Oh, this and that, but you feel like, oh my gosh. This actually happened. How do you move on from this? How it feels so weird. It feels, you get like this pit in your stomach, like this uncomfortable feeling because you're thinking, oh, this is just a really bad dream. And it's gonna go away. But I'm gonna be able to text her and whatever I'm feeling that day and just send her a text. It's just, it's so weird, but I will say I hit the jackpot with his mom as a mother-in-law. And Jeff has two other brothers and they are married, if you don't know. And they also hit the jackpot with Jeff's mom. I feel like they have been, you know, because Jeff's brothers are a lot older than me. So they've been in the family a lot longer. I've only been in the family 16 years. And well, since Jeff and I've been together, but Jeff's mom always made me feel like I was already married in the family to begin with. And I just feel like I didn't get as much time as the other, the sister and laws. And they're so blessed that they got the time that they did. And they're so blessed that they had her as a mother-in-law. And they loved her too. And she loved them. She loved everybody. She loved everybody in their room. And look, I need a regroup. Yeah, she will be, she will be missed. And again, like I said, I think I'm going to end this. It's not a long podcast today at all. Like I said, it feels weird talking about other things. I thought about having the kids on and doing something funny, but right now it just doesn't feel right doing anything funny and laughing right now because that's how I feel. And these past couple of months doing this podcast have been really hard because we've known we knew how long she had. And showinging up here sometimes, you know, maybe before the podcast Jeff and I were crying or before we were recording or even after and And you don't feel like laughing and you don't feel like talking things so talking about things and so sometimes Some of the episodes we did it just I felt like felt like it didn't flow. But that's the reason why. But we obviously weren't going to share that that's why. But we were, you know, it was, we were both off because we were both just sad. And it's hard sometimes to show up and try to be funny or try to be entertaining and make people laugh because that's why we're here.

We're here to help Y'all's days. A lot of you write me and say at work you're cracking up or you're in the grocery store and you're in the aisle and you're laughing so hard because of something that we said and that's why we do this. We love entertaining you guys. We love that y'all are along the, you know, this journey with us.

I mean, jeez, y'all are like family now.

Cause y'all are along the, you know, this journey with us. I mean, geez, y'all are like family now because y'all, I feel like have been through it all with us this past year and we try to be open and honest and authentic and there's a lot of fake out there. So much fake and trying to bring the realness back to YouTube, to Instagram and TV. And we just appreciate you guys so much. And thank you for all your kind words. Thank you for your messages. Thank you for

thank you. Just thank you.

I love how I said in the beginning of this, I'm not crying and I said I wasn't going to. And thank you to our Yay family. They have been made. They've known about this and they have so understanding about everything. And I feel like Jeff and I have a special bond with them and Riley are producers. Been amazing. And does all the editing, Ryan, the VP is amazing. They're just, it just fits. And it's just, I feel like sometimes things are meant to be. And I feel like when you're going through a lot of things, you need that support from the people that you're working with. And they've just been so awesome. So thank you to Yay, thank you to you guys. And then before I end this, I just wanted to say that because some people were confused with Fridays doing the Big Brother recap. So Mondays and Wednesday's podcast episodes are going to be like usual, our normal random talks. We could have some big brother talk. I know some people wrote me saying that it didn't want Mondays and Wednesdays episodes to turn into a big brother episode as well. There might be some things but we'll like, oh, that was such a great episode on Big Brother last night and then shift it to Friday's episode. So Fridays will be all Big Brother talk. I'm trying to line up more people. This Friday, August 1st, I have a, I almost said the person's name. That would not be good. And you would have to cut that out. I do, it's a hint. I do have a lady guest with me and she's gonna be on the whole time and y'all are going to love this one. And I'm not just saying that, you know, some people are like, oh, this is the best and it's not really, this is gonna be a good one. So you do not wanna miss this Friday's YouTube life. It's at five o'clock mountain time. And again, it's a good one. Jeff will be back Monday for for podcast and all next week. He just needs to be with his family this week. And then we will be back again. I'm sorry for crying and not getting just gosh, being so random. I don't even know if my stories made sense. To be honest, I don't know if what I said made sense at all, but I just wanted to get this episode out to you all because that's what this is our drop and this is what we are supposed to do and I doing Just a random episode just talking just didn't feel right. This is what felt right today So I'm sorry if you're like, oh my gosh this episode Was lame. I feel like I'm just talking to myself and But we will be back. I don't even know if we're fresh is the word. But we will be back next week. And hopefully, you know, working on this. But thank you guys for sticking with us through this whole journey, this whole Life is hard, life is wild, you know, and you just have to ride the wave, you know, and yeah, oh, wait, I have a quote, I have a quote. Okay. Oh, this is calm in quietude is not real calm. When you can be calm in the midst of activity, this is the true state of nature. Happiness and comfort is not real happiness. When you can be happy in the midst of hardship, then you can see the true potential of the mind. Good one. All right.

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