If you want to know the truth, when I was first diagnosed, my first thought was maybe my father will notice me.

And I thought, wow, that's screwed up. Like if that's my first thought, I wonder why I got sick. So I was so into

personal development before so I did have some self-awareness. When I say self-awareness, I feel like probably didn't have much, but I was aware that your

thoughts can create your reality, that emotional trauma can be stored in your body and that can cause

dishees in your physical body right so when that happened I remember thinking okay that's

screwed up I got to work on that my second thought was I feel guilty for being sick. I feel like I screwed up my children already.

I've put this trauma inside of them. Now they're gonna be like, oh my gosh, my mom's dying, how's that gonna affect their future?

When I got past all that stuff and went through

a lot of crazy stuff, some of it I talk about

on my TEDx talk called Dying to be a good mother,

I really got to this point where I realized I wasn't afraid of dying.

I thought I was. I thought, oh my gosh, my children need me, these people need me,

what if, what if, what if, what if, when I got really, really quiet with myself, I was

terrified because I didn't know how to feel alive.

I had no idea how to actually live my life because I was so conditioned to believe as a woman and a mother

that if I felt good that was selfish, That was my true core belief.

I'm Sreni Rao and this is the unmistakable creative

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at unmistakable Creative.com.

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