Secret sins are like embers from a hot fire. If you put them underneath the rug, so to speak,

they're going to catch fire eventually, and they're going to do damage to your marriage.

I'm John Fuller, along with Greg and Aaron Smalley, who head up our marriage team here at the ministry.

And Greg, last episode, you shared pretty passionately about secret sins and how that can destroy

a marriage.

What are your observations just in dealing with the couples that you do?

How often secret sins wreck the relationship?

Yeah. They often wreck the relationship, but at least it sets in motion things that can destroy the connection, the intimacy, destroy their relationship.

You know, if I'm holding a secret, I'm probably feeling guilty, or I've gotten so numbed out to where I'm not

feeling the guilt, which is an even bigger issue. It's creating a natural distance between

Aaron and I. So if I'm holding this secret sin, I've got to maintain some level of emotional distance. Can't let her

see the rule me because then she'll find out and then what? You know, it's slowly then eroding

that connection, even the trust between us and is ushering in the likelihood of conflict.

Well, let me even, I'll even change the word.

Conflict is healthy for the marriage.

It's probably ushering in combat.

So now I'm more, you know, I'm more sensitive.

Defensive?

Yeah, very defensive.

And so if there's an issue between us, I'm probably going to overreact or react in such

a strong way to where Aaron's going to be like, whoa, what was that about?

What's going on?

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