He Used TWO Squares?! + The Most Unhinged Funeral Idea Ever
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
4.9 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 20 March 2026
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today’s episode of The Rizzuto Show proves once again that a funny podcast can start classy… and immediately crash into absolute nonsense.
We begin with Rich, a listener who won a charity auction and got to hang in-studio—because nothing says “dream experience” like watching a morning show slowly unravel in real time. What starts as a legit conversation about Missouri wine, running a winery, and booking bands quickly turns into the crew doing what they do best: derailing everything with jokes, bad guesses, and Craig fighting for his life trying to fix the studio cameras.
From there, we roll into March Movie Mayhem, where the gang debates the best 90s movies… while also proving they may not actually remember the 90s. Brackets are discussed, nostalgia is questioned, and confidence is completely misplaced.
Then comes the main event: Rafe’s E-Memoriam. A listener email tries to call him out, and what follows is a hilarious, razor-sharp breakdown of context, comedy, and why maybe—just maybe—you shouldn’t come in hot unless you’re ready for the response. It’s equal parts thoughtful and absolutely savage, which is kind of the sweet spot for this funny podcast.
And just when things feel like they might level out, we discover something truly unsettling: how many squares of toilet paper people actually use. Let’s just say… trust is broken, friendships are questioned, and hands should probably not be shaken for a while.
We also get one of the greatest “3 & 5” game answers in show history (seriously, it’s weirdly poetic), plus a deeply disturbing story about fake cremation ashes that somehow turns into a full Shark Tank-style pitch for turning your loved ones into… construction materials. Yes, really. No, we’re not okay either.
If you like your funny podcast with sarcasm, chaos, unexpected debates, and moments that make you laugh and question humanity at the same time—this episode delivers.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Rizzuto. Rizudo. Hey, joining us in studio. I'm very excited to have this man here, Mr. Rich Moore, who won a charity option to be in the studio today. And here he is. What's the winery you own? It's a Fire Lake Winery and Event Center, Fire spelled with a Y. F-Y-R-E. |
| 0:21.1 | That's right. |
| 0:21.9 | Like Fire Fest. |
| 0:22.5 | Correct. But not like Fire Fest. But not like... But see, now you'll never forget it. Right. Fire Lake. All news is good news, right? How long have you owned this place? We're going on opening our doors four years ago in June. Good for you. How's the wine business? The wine business is much like the restaurant business. |
| 0:39.7 | Got it's ups and downs. |
| 0:40.8 | A little tough, correct. The entertainment business, however, birthday parties, weddings, things like that, that's taken off. So we're doing good in that area. So where are you guys located in? We are in cadet, Missouri, just north of Potosi, about three miles north of Potosi. |
| 0:55.9 | It's 21 South, make a left on 47, three miles, and we're right there. |
| 0:59.7 | So you guys do events there, you saw wine there, and you guys grow everything out there, too? |
| 1:04.0 | We don't. |
| 1:04.5 | We work with Serenity Valley Winery, and they're near Columbia, Missouri. |
| 1:08.7 | That's where the winemaker is, And we brand the better ones are there. |
| 1:12.9 | So more of a retail winery right now. |
| 1:15.5 | We're going to get some licensing to do some domestic products this year coming up. |
| 1:20.3 | And we'll start making a house product. |
| 1:22.1 | I'll tell you what, Missouri grapes. |
| 1:23.9 | Yep. |
| 1:24.1 | That's a real deal. |
| 1:25.3 | Yeah, we wanted to stick with the local. I mean, we could have went to Napa or, or even, you know, from overseas, but we decided to stick with Missouri, a Missouri company to work with. |
| 1:37.2 | So that is true when there was the grape famine out there in France, Missouri sent over some of their, some of their cuttings. |
| 1:44.1 | Yep. And a lot of that French wine is actually Missouri wine. Uh, out there in France, Missouri sent over some of their cuttings. |
| 1:44.3 | Yep. |
| 1:47.3 | And a lot of that French wine is actually Missouri wine. |
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