He's a Rat!

Bad Friends

Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino

Stand-up, Comedy

4.7 • 14.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 June 2026

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Shopify, QUO, Rocket Money, BlueChew & Kachava • Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends • QUO: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://Quo.com/BADFRIENDS • Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BADFRIENDS • BlueChew: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code BADFRIENDS. • Kachava: Go to https://kachava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your first order YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Little Asian Eyes 6:00 King Unc 13:00 White People Cruises 18:00 Sick Days & Holy Rats 25:30 Goat Cologne 30:00 Dragon's Breath 35:00 No Meat BBQ 41:00 A Man of The People 49:00 The Rat 54:00 Room Full of Lies More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You two are bad friends.
0:01.7	Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Finally, I saw an eye doctor today. What do the doc say? We took a bunch of tests. Yeah, like what? Like A, B, F, Q? No, he said there was one word called Hovum. Hmm, Hovum, yeah. He goes, what does that say?
0:22.8	There it said, Hotovov.
0:23.9	Yeah, Hotovov.
0:24.5	Yeah, yeah. like what like a b f q no he said there was one word called hovum yeah yeah he goes what does that
0:22.5	say there it said hotovov yeah yeah and i go um i'm bladman am blotlin yeah yeah and he goes that's
0:28.8	way off right both eyes then he scanned the intertrial of all where all the like um that's that's only
0:36.3	an asian thing yeah i know they don't have to do that
0:39.0	for us what you know what the cells are they're squinty the cells were squinty dude even the cells
0:44.1	under microscope yeah yeah oh what do we do wait get up that get that test up and let me see
0:48.2	if we can do it ready Bob yes I already know okay okay well that's not do the other one you just
0:52.7	there it is this one okay what are you gonna do?
0:54.7	No, I want to, well, you're, I'm closer.
0:57.5	Your eyes are way better than mine.
0:58.8	No, I just want to see what line you can get down to. So the first, first. From here. No, one, two, and three are fine. Do the fourth line. Fourth line down. T-H-V-O-H-T-O-V.
1:07.7	Next one.
1:08.9	Here we go.
1:12.0	H-V-T-O-T-V-O-O-V. Next one. Here we go. H-V-T-O-T-V-H-V-H-V-T-O. Great, next one. Now I'm done. Q-2-N. No, Q-O. It's O again. The letters are the same in every single one. Oh, okay. My point is is that... And the bottom one. can you do that one? I can't do the bottom one.
1:27.7	V-O-T-O.
1:44.3	Wow. Wow. That one's teeny tiny from here. Yeah, so I guess... But the doctor said, you have a... You have long distance. He's got little Asian eyes. I love that. You have long distance. And he goes, I want to show you something. it's a miracle and I go
1:45.4	what is it
1:45.9	he goes
	...

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