HBM068: The Wake Up Stick
Here Be Monsters
Here Be Monsters Podcast
4.6 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 23 November 2016
⏱️ 14 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Summary
When Dylan Wright placed his first Craigslist ad back in 2006, he called himself a “nice and genuine person with waking up problems.” He was looking for someone to help him in the mornings. First it was phone calls, but those didn’t work, so he moved on to something more personal.
Content Note: Language
Dylan’s problem is that, left to his own devices, he sleeps and doesn’t stop sleeping: “Seventeen hours was the longest I ever slept...that’s like four times as much as some people get daily.” And he’s tried to fix it in a lot of ways—bright lights suspended over his bed hooked to a timer, multiple alarms—nothing worked. He lost jobs, missed flights, messed up personal relationships, all because he couldn’t wake up.
So for most of the last decade, Dylan’s hired someone to come to his house, and physically wake him up. “Nothing weird or inappropriate about this, it’s just a job.” he says. Dylan estimates he’s had ten people fill this job. Most of them quit abruptly, or just stopped showing up. But he likes his current guy, who doesn’t even come into the house. Instead, he’s taken to knocking on Dylan’s bedroom window with a long stick (that way he doesn’t have to stand in the flowerbeds). He knocks until Dylan gets out of bed puts on clothes and makes himself some coffee.
It’s $10 per day, five days per week, sometimes six.
Lisa Cantrell produced this piece. She’s the host of An Inexact Science, which is a podcast about human psychology.
Music: The Black Spot
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | A jail stint can really disrupt someone's life. |
| 0:03.2 | You can lose a job, a relationship, or thousands of dollars on fees, fines and bail. |
| 0:08.0 | Have I ever gone to jail? |
| 0:09.0 | Yeah, I just got out, actually. |
| 0:10.0 | If he doesn't show up to court, we've got to pay the $50,000. |
| 0:13.4 | No green exchange, no kiss the bride. |
| 0:16.1 | There's no glamour in a jailhouse wedding. |
| 0:19.4 | Off the block, all six episodes tracing the path from city block to Jailblock and back are now available on KCRW's iTunes page. |
| 0:29.0 | From KCRW, this is Here Be Monsters. |
| 0:42.0 | Alright, Dunne. It is our time. Is it Friday already? |
| 0:44.0 | Friday already. |
| 0:45.0 | It's payday. |
| 0:46.0 | Pay day. |
| 0:47.0 | All right, so five days this week, I owe you 50 bucks. |
| 0:51.0 | I'm totally at peace with it most of the time all right man sometimes I'm |
| 0:59.5 | I'm embarrassed and I don't want to tell people about it. |
| 1:03.0 | There are a few that understand me though that I've had for a number of years and they get it and they're cool with it. |
| 1:10.0 | But to say that I'm completely comfortable with it is not exactly true. That was it. |
| 1:40.0 | it. |
| 1:41.0 | Morning world, you fuck. |
| 1:44.0 | Gee, you fuck. Rurh! |
| 1:46.0 | Oh, |
... |
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