Harvard Business School Professor: How to Become More Confident, Influential, and Communicate Better

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Relationships

4.7 • 15.3K Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2026

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today's episode is going to completely change the way you think about every conversation you've been too afraid to have. Ever wonder why your relationships feel surface level, even after years? Why you feel lonely, even when you're surrounded by people? Why you say “I’m fine,” even when you’re not? Why some people earn trust instantly, while you struggle to be taken seriously? Harvard Business School’s Dr. Leslie K. John, a behavioral scientist who has spent decades studying honesty, trust, privacy, regret, and decision-making, is here to teach you the answer – and it's not what you think. In today’s episode, you will learn the surprising science of honesty, vulnerability, and human connection. Her research has found why the things you don't say are quietly hurting your health, your relationships, and your career – and exactly what to do about it. For years, the advice has been: don't overshare, at work or with friends. Keep things private. But decades of Harvard research say that advice is backwards. Dr. John's findings are shocking, and reveal that the real problem, the one deepening loneliness and costing you the career and connections you want, is undersharing. In this episode, you’ll learn that 89% of people would choose to work with, trust, and hire someone who reveals something difficult, even something unflattering, over someone who stays quiet. That keeping secrets doesn't just feel heavy. Research shows it lowers cognitive performance, IQ, and is linked to measurable declines in physical health. That one of the most common deathbed regrets is “I wish I had shared my feelings more.” That you can use The Disclosure Matrix, which is the exact decision-making tool Dr. John teaches at Harvard Business School, so you always know when to speak up and when to stay quiet. And, you’ll learn the 2-sentence framework that makes any hard conversation easier to start. If you've ever held something back because you didn't want to make things awkward, said "I'm fine" when you weren't, or wished your relationships felt deeper and more honest, this episode will change the way you communicate forever. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, check out this one next: Stanford Luck Researcher: How to Manifest the Life You Want Connect with Mel: Get Pure Genius Protein Get Mel’s newsletter, packed with tools, coaching, and inspiration. Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram Mel's TikTok Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
0:08.7	Let me ask you a question.
0:10.7	How many times today did you stop yourself from saying something?
0:16.2	I get it.
0:17.2	Maybe it felt awkward or unnecessary or that if you said something, it might make things weird.
0:22.7	So instead, you were like, oh, I'm fine. You kept it light. You swallowed the comment.
0:28.8	You hid the truth. And you let it go. You probably told yourself, oh, that's maturity.
0:35.2	That's emotional intelligence. That's having solid boundaries,
0:38.6	not saying anything. But what if you're just terrified of over sharing? You obsess over saying too
0:44.3	much. You replay conversations because you're worried that you said the wrong thing or you crossed
0:49.3	a line or people are going to judge you. Most of us think the danger is in oversharing, you know,
0:55.8	saying too much, crossing a line, being too vulnerable. But today's guest, a Harvard Business
1:02.5	School professor who's a behavioral scientist and studies decision making says that's the wrong
1:07.9	fear. What you should be afraid of is the real damage that comes from undersharing, being closed off,
1:15.9	not opening up about what's going on in your life.
1:19.1	This episode is not about sharing everything with everyone.
1:23.0	This episode is about the skill of being open, being vulnerable, and learning how to be honest about
1:31.8	what's going on. Because if you really apply what you're about to learn today, your relationships
1:38.0	will be closer, your conversations are going to get easier, you'll feel happier because of these tips from the number one professor
1:46.2	at Harvard Business School.
1:51.6	Before we jump in, I want to invite you to stick around for a special segment later in the
1:57.4	episode sponsored by Expedia, because I'm going to be sharing something that might
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from SiriusXM Podcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of SiriusXM Podcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.