Harriet Lerner: ...how profoundly important a heartfelt apology is
Nobody Told Me!
Nobody Told Me!
4.2 • 671 Ratings
🗓️ 29 June 2022
⏱️ 33 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Apologies are the topic on this episode. Have you ever found it tough to say, “I’m sorry”, or wished for someone to apologize to you? Our guest, Dr. Harriet Lerner, says apologies are very important in our relationships. Harriet is a well-known psychologist whose latest book is called “Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts”.
You can learn about Harriet by checking out her website at https://www.harrietlerner.com/.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Nobody Told Me. |
| 0:13.3 | And I'm Laura Owens. |
| 0:16.3 | Have you ever found it tough to say I'm sorry? |
| 0:18.9 | Have you ever longed for someone to say I'm sorry to you? |
| 0:22.1 | If so, you'll want to hear what our guest, Dr. Harriet Lerner, has to say about apologies and why |
| 0:26.7 | they can be so important in our relationships. Harriet is a well-known psychologist and the author |
| 0:31.8 | of 12 books, the most well-known, the dance of anger, and the latest of which is called why won't you |
| 0:37.8 | apologize healing big betrayals and everyday hurts Harriet thank you so much for |
| 0:42.5 | joining us my pleasure you have been investigating the subject of |
| 0:47.1 | apologies for over a decade and I'm wondering why do apologies interest |
| 0:52.4 | you so much well we're all connected. |
| 0:56.6 | We all screw up. |
| 0:58.2 | We all unwittingly hurt others, just as we're hurt by them. |
| 1:03.6 | So the need to give and receive apologies is with us until our very last breath. |
| 1:09.5 | And as someone is interested in relationships, obviously, when apologies are done right, |
| 1:17.1 | they can be deeply healing. |
| 1:18.6 | When they're absent or we muck them up, they can compromise the relationship or even end it. |
| 1:25.0 | So this is a really important subject for all of us. |
| 1:29.0 | What makes for an effective apology? |
| 1:32.6 | Well, an effective apology requires us to take clear and direct responsibility for specifically what we have said or done or not said or done |
| 1:48.7 | without a hint of blaming, outfuscation, excuse making, bringing up the other person's |
| 1:55.9 | crime sheet. |
... |
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