Happy Christmas, Erica.

Merry Christmas, Paul.

Feliz Navidad, Paul.

That's right.

The war on Christmas is not happening here.

No, no.

We are fully entrenched.

We're on team Christmas over here.

I'm five eggnogs deep and I am a loyal Christmas soldier.

Absolutely.

You're on the front lines.

Yeah, I'm two viewings of a Christmas story in and five egg nugs deep and 14 pieces of pie.

I will never forget when that woman in that store told you happy holidays and you scalded her with your hot cocoa.

Oh, I did. You threw it right in her face. You phantom of the opera turned her.

I was like, it's Christmas, you bitch. You know, there's nothing I love more than

a scent of a pine in a living room. And don't give me any of those car freshener pine sense.

I want the real thing. I need real pine. I need murdered trees dragged into my house.

The more dead trees in my house gasping their last puffs of odor into the air

the better i'll never forget that time someone tried to sell you a fake christmas tree and you rammed

it through them like a battering ram that's right i skewered them with it i shish kebab them with the pine

tree i actually grew the strength of the Hulk in that moment and killed them.

And killed them with that fake balsam wood that they tried to peddle you.

...