Hannah Murray - ‘Everything Fell Apart’

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Sony Music

Society & Culture

4.7 • 9.6K Ratings

🗓️ 3 June 2026

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Hannah Murray found fame when she was just 17, playing the self-destructive Cassie in E4’s Skins. She juggled an English degree at Cambridge University alongside playing Gilly in HBO’s Game Of Thrones and went on to film Detroit, directed by Kathryn Bigelow. When the physical and mental stress required from these roles began to take its toll, Murray sought treatment from a reiki healer. From there, her life began to spiral as she became heavily involved with a ‘healing’ organisation whose promises of real-life magic and enlightenment were increasingly seductive. She ended up being sectioned after a psychotic break and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now, she has written her first book. The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness is a deeply personal account of these events, written with compulsive lyricism. It takes readers on a journey to the edges of reality, where magic is possible, and where the liminal space between what is real and what is imagined becomes ever more porous. In this episode we delve into Hannah’s breakdown and what it taught her. We discuss living with BPD, her decision to quit acting and why, as a society, it’s so important to talk about severe mental health conditions - even if it makes us uncomfortable. Plus: when does our modern obsession with ‘wellness’ go too far? ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 04:30 Acting Roles and Emotional Toll 07:51 The Memoir 09:17 Traumatic Filming and Aftermath 11:57 Failure to Be Happy Always 16:06 Rapture Highs and Bipolar 18:14 Reiki Rabbit Hole and Cult Questions 28:50 Wellness as Addiction 30:25 Hotel Breakdown Begins 32:17 Exorcism and Delusions 33:26 Realizing You're Sectioned 35:18 Medication and Coming Back 36:12 Shame to Compassion 42:55 Bipolar Mania Explained 48:41 Leaving Acting and Moving On 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: On the nature of modern mental health discourse: "What if I want to talk about when I was drinking my own urine on a psychiatric ward? You can’t really say that at a dinner party... there is still a big taboo around psychosis, bipolar, schizophrenia, and other conditions that are less palatable and less kind of cozy." 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: The Make-Believe by Hannah Murray is available now in hardback and audio, read by Hannah https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/471422/the-make-believe-by-murray-hannah/9781529155211 Hannah will be in conversation with Jessie Cave at Kings Place on Friday 5th June. Link to tickets here: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/words/hannah-murray-in-conversation-with-jessie-cave/ Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Jennette McCurdy - discusses childhood fame, toxic family dynamics, eating disorders, grief and how reclaiming her own identity after her mother’s death ultimately set her free: swap.fm/l/DqqwmylXlnMvnfOmG53z Marian Keyes - the bestselling writer on addiction, creative insecurity and body image: swap.fm/l/3opU8XRCVTQLV4v994U5 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails Elizabeth and Hannah answer listener questions in our subscriber series: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Now I can understand all of this as undiagnosed bipolar.
0:05.0	And I remember thinking as I was experiencing it, like,
0:08.0	this is so amazing. Why have I ever taken drugs?
0:10.0	This is so much better.
0:12.0	And I just thought, this is it.
0:14.0	This is the magic solution.
0:15.0	This is the silver bullet.
0:16.0	This is the thing that will fix me.
0:18.0	And then everything fell apart. When the word sectioned was used, I just remember kind of thinking, that doesn't really make sense.
0:27.6	That doesn't really fit in with what I understand is going on.
0:30.6	This episode of How to Fail is brought to you by Dove Whole Body Deodorant.
0:34.6	Hello and welcome to How to Fail with me, Elizabeth Day. This is the podcast
0:39.0	that believes every time we fail, we also learn something about how to succeed better.
0:44.7	Before we get into this episode, please do remember to like, follow and subscribe so that you
0:49.3	never miss a single conversation. This podcast is all about speaking the truth, honest, transparent storytelling and embracing
1:01.2	our perceived failures to discover what we've learned from them.
1:05.3	Every week, I'm lucky enough to speak with some of the most impressive and inspiring people
1:10.0	from around the world.
1:11.7	But while those conversations are always a joy, they do sometimes take me out of my comfort
1:17.2	zone. And when I'm feeling the pressure, there's always the risk of getting a bit hot and
1:22.0	bothered before my esteemed guest arrives, which is why I'm so pleased to have Dove Whole Body helping me feel calm and
1:30.7	confident. Dove Whole Body Deodorant delivers all day odour protection and is designed to be
	...

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