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You're Dead to Me

Hadrian's Wall

You're Dead to Me

BBC

Comedy, History

4.7 • 10.9K Ratings

🗓️ 16 December 2025

⏱️ 14 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Join historian Greg Jenner for a hilarious and fascinating family adventure through ancient Britain, exploring the History of Hadrian’s Wall, one of the most iconic landmarks of the Roman Empire.

Rome meets Britain When the Romans first invaded Britain, they weren’t prepared for the chilly weather, the fierce tribes or how long it would take to build their empire. From Julius Caesar’s half-hearted invasions to Emperor Claudius’s chilly conquest, Greg Jenner whizzes through the centuries of Roman rule with his trademark wit and sketches.

Enter Emperor Hadrian! Then along comes the main man himself: Hadrian. The bearded emperor with a love of architecture, art, and… his boyfriend Antinous. With comedy flair, Greg tells how Hadrian rose to power, toured the empire, and decided to solve his northern problem by building a giant wall across Britain.

Hadrian’s Wall stretched 80 Roman miles, from coast to coast. A monumental feat of engineering that marked the edge of the empire. But was it an impenetrable defence, or just an ancient form of border control (with a bit of extra tax collection on the side)?

Behind the wall Greg and the Dead Funny History cast bring the world of Roman soldiers to life, complete with bustling forts, bakeries, temples, hospitals and toga shops! There’s even a few unfortunate emperors who discovered that visiting York didn’t always end well…

With jokes, sketches and sharp historical insight, this episode turns stone and history into laughter and learning for children, families and anyone curious about ancient Britain.

The afterlife of a wall From the Romans’ chilly retreat to the medieval locals who recycled Hadrian’s Wall into castles, churches and pigsties, Greg reveals how this monumental structure survived and how it later became a treasured World Heritage Site.

History has never been this funny Packed with facts, puns and fast-paced fun, Dead Funny History – Hadrian’s Wall makes the Roman past lively and unforgettable. Perfect for curious kids, history-loving families, and fans of Greg Jenner’s clever storytelling.

Writers: Jack Bernhardt, Gabby Hutchinson Crouch, and Dr Emma Nagouse Host: Greg Jenner Performers: Mali Ann Rees and Richard David-Caine Producer: Dr Emma Nagouse Associate Producer: Gabby Hutchinson Crouch Researcher: Dr Emmie Rose Price-Goodfellow Audio producer: Emma Weatherill Script consultant: Dr Andrew Birley Production Coordinator: Liz Tuohy Jo Kyle: Production Manager Studio Managers: Keith Graham and Andrew Garratt Sound Designer: Peregrine Andrews

A BBC Studios Production

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, Podcasts.

0:05.0

Ellis, our podcast is nearly 500 episodes old.

0:10.0

But what have we learnt?

0:11.0

Ellis James and John Robbins.

0:13.0

I've learnt that when you're doing live radio, if somebody texts in in block capitals, it's very really a good sign.

0:18.0

We've had a confused text, it says, I want to listen to this rubbish.

0:21.9

I learned that if you lose to lose Sanders in a board game,

0:24.8

don't mention it on the show, you are going to get an unexpected call.

0:28.3

Oh, dear, oh dear.

0:31.2

Ellis James and John Robbins, 500 not out.

0:34.1

Lovely stuff.

0:35.5

Listen on BBC Sounds.

0:39.9

Hello, and welcome to Dead Funny History.

0:42.3

I'm Greg Jenner.

0:43.2

I'm a historian and I want to tell you about something cool.

0:47.0

If you live in the north of England or in Scotland, you might have seen it.

0:50.8

You might even live next door to it.

0:53.1

It is the ancient grand design that

0:55.0

marked the northern edge of the Roman Empire. It is, of course, Hadrian's wall. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

1:01.9

It's me, Emperor Hadrian, and this is my mighty wall. People of Britain marvel at it.

1:08.2

Hold your horses, Hadrian. It's not your bit yet. Fine.

1:11.9

To explain how the war was built, we first have to go back to when the Romans first arrived in Britain,

...

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