Guilt Can Actually Improve Your Relationships
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 13 January 2026
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Chris Moore, psychology professor and author of The Power of Guilt, to unpack why guilt shows up so intensely in dating, friendships, and relationships, and why it’s not always a bad thing. We talk about the difference between guilt and shame, why women tend to feel guilt more deeply, how guilt can keep us stuck in dating situations longer than we should, and when it’s actually a signal for healthy relationship repair versus something to let go of.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I am super excited to welcome today's guest. Dr. Chris Moore is a psychology professor who has been |
| 0:08.4 | studying guilt and relationships and emotions for over three decades and has a brand new book |
| 0:15.2 | out, The Power of Guilt. I'm holding it right here. It is such a good book. As soon as I opened it, |
| 0:20.3 | I was like, wow, I wish I had this sooner right here. It is such a good book. As soon as I opened it, I was like, |
| 0:26.0 | wow, I wish I had this sooner. Dr. Chris, welcome to seeing other people. |
| 0:33.2 | Great to be here, Alana. Thanks for having me. So many questions for you. I think this is such an important emotion to talk about, especially as it pertains to early stages of dating and relationships |
| 0:40.4 | while, you know, relationships are undefined and we're getting to know somebody for the first time, |
| 0:46.0 | but there are also so many ways that guilt plays a role in our long-term relationships. |
| 0:50.3 | So a lot of questions, really, really excited to have you. Before we dive in, why guilt? |
| 0:56.2 | Can you tell me a little bit about how this unfolded? |
| 1:00.6 | Yeah, well, if you've read the book, you know that I've had a lot of personal experiences with guilt. |
| 1:07.4 | You know, I was brought up as a Catholic, for example. |
| 1:10.3 | We always talk about Catholic guilt. You know, I was brought up as a Catholic, for example. We always talk about Catholic guilt. |
| 1:12.7 | You know, guilt in relationships, guilt in my personal life and so on. |
| 1:17.3 | You know, I recount some personal episodes, which were infused with guilt, let's say. |
| 1:22.5 | So it was one of these, it was an emotion that I was very familiar with. |
| 1:28.7 | And, you know, really, |
| 1:36.1 | you're trying to understand my own experiences in relation to guilt. But then on the academic side, you know, I am an academic. I've been a professor for many years. I've been studying social |
| 1:40.9 | development and social relationships in my research work for many years. |
| 1:45.2 | And so this topic was really one that hit the sweet spot of bringing those two things together, |
| 1:50.8 | bringing my own personal experiences with guilt and what guilt meant to me, |
| 1:55.2 | as well as my more kind of academic or scientific interests in social relationships. |
... |
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