Ground Rules to Help You Fight Fair & Make Up Well | Ep. 606
Awesome Marriage Podcast
Dr. Kim Kimberling
4.9 • 813 Ratings
🗓️ 16 April 2024
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you fight fair, or do you wish there was a referee to call a stop to the foul play when you argue with your spouse? Ground rules are an important step toward having healthy marriage conflict, so today Dr. Kim will spell out how to make sure you're fighting fair in your marriage. We want to empower you to fight fair, and resolve issues in a kind and loving way.
If you need help to fight fair and truly resolve issues without making things worse, you will love today's conversation.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
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The DOs and DON'Ts of fighting fair
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The side effects of unhealthy conflict
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A healthy way to "let it all out"
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Can honesty go too far? How do you know?
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Tips to the reconnection process - how to make up well
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
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"We both learned we needed to reconnect and apologize, but sometimes we werent' ready to take that step at the same time. We had to learn that somebody needs to take the step. It doesn't really matter who started the fight or who was wrong."
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"Taking responsibility is huge. Owning your part in it, even if you think you only did 10%, you still did 10%."
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"What are you sorry for? Be very specific in what you did and why you're taking responsibility."
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"I say it a lot: One of the best gifts you can give your marriage is to learn how to resolve conflict."
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Forgiveness and apologies need to have no strings attached. It's just that I choose to do this.
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We're not just trying to clear a slate so our spouse stops bugging us. Have you repented before the Lord? That's where this starts.
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We are accountable to Him before being accountable to our spouse. Did I just treat my spouse in the way He would have me treat them? If not, I need to take that up with Him
QUESTIONS FOR YOU
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When you really think about it, how did it affect your spouse when you had this conflict?
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Repentance. Learning from the mistakes made and committing to work on them together.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
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Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
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Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.
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If you're ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.
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TODAY is the last day for our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle! Don't miss the chance to get 7 of our most-loved resources for 1 donation of ANY amount in support of the ministry of Awesome Marriage! Get all the details here!
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Do you and your spouse fight fair or do you wish there was a referee there to call the fouls when you guys argue? |
| 0:07.3 | Ground rules are an important step toward having healthy marriage conflict. |
| 0:10.5 | So today, Dr. Kim will spell out how to make sure you're fighting fair in your marriage. |
| 0:16.8 | Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations and practical advice on how to build an awesome marriage. |
| 0:25.2 | I am your podcast producer and co-host, Lindsay Few. |
| 0:29.0 | On the show will be our host Dr. Kim Kimberly. |
| 0:32.5 | Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years. |
| 0:37.4 | His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship. as a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years. |
| 0:37.5 | His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship. |
| 0:43.3 | So if you need help to fight fair and truly resolve issues without making things worse, you |
| 0:48.8 | are going to love today's conversation. |
| 0:51.9 | So Dr. Kim, you ready for this? Oh, yeah. I am curious how many of your |
| 0:58.1 | couples come to you because they want a referee? Sometimes. Sometimes I think, sometimes I think |
| 1:04.4 | they want an audience. Oh, yikes. Nobody I'm seeing now. This is people I saw years ago. |
| 1:10.8 | Okay. Yes, of course. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I've just heard This is people I saw years ago. Okay. |
| 1:11.0 | Yes, of course. |
| 1:11.7 | Yes, I've just heard so many people say, yeah, we need to go to counseling because we need |
| 1:15.5 | somebody to tell us who's right and who's wrong. |
| 1:17.7 | Yeah. |
| 1:18.0 | And, of course, that never works, you know. |
| 1:19.8 | Right. |
| 1:20.7 | But, yeah, I think some people want or they want to be affirmed. |
... |
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