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Music It's about time. It's about time you guys showed up.

Good evening, everyone.

As wildfires still wreak havoc in Southern California, President Biden used a briefing on the fires to brag that he's now a great grandfather.

Even worse, when AIDS rushed him to leave, he said,

Hey, buddy, where's the fire?

Yeah.

But in L.A., the winds are still so strong, Governor Newsom has ordered fire crews to batten down Tom Cruise.

And frightened citizens are urged to shelter inside Julia Roberts' mouth.

True, I haven't seen this many Californians run for their lives since Cher made an appearance without her makeup.

Governor Gavin Newsom is receiving his usual share of criticism.

But out of respect for the victims, people are encouraged to use the phrase,

liar, liar, pants on backwards.

But out of concern for safety, firefighters made sure to keep Newsom far from the blaze.

The last thing they need was a grease fire, too.

Many are criticizing the chief of the LA Fire Department for making inclusivity the top priority

when hiring new recruits.

...