Hello there, fellow game children, it is a cool teacher, here to tell you that even though you might have some fun in your cyber games,

don't play the murder simulators.

But I want to play the murder simulator.

No, it'll turn you into a rabid monster capable of anything.

Yeah, that's what I like.

I like it like that.

I want Uncle Sam to send me off to war. No. And I'll put many holes in the men out there. And some of the women and the children, too. And then Uncle Sam will send me back and I'll say, hey, there's a mall. That looks like a fun shooting guy. I mean, mall? This is what happens when children have video games.

Yes!

You'll be going to church.

Why can't you have fun like I did?

Going to church and sitting still and listening to old time radio.

And watch the man bleed on the sticks?

Yeah, you know, pleasant, good things, not your thing, which is bad and turns you

into an evil person.

Oh shit. Brop, prop, prop, prop, prop, prop is bad and turns you into an evil person. Oh shit.

Brop, prop, prop, prop, prop, prop. It's the GTA episode of Wizard and the Bruiser. And who asked for that? You did, you losers. I'm Holden McNeely. You can call me the bruiser today, won't you, won't you please? And I guess I'm the Wizard this week. I fucking guess, Jake. I'm casting a spell.

And guys, this, researching this took longer than, like, actually beating a GTA game.

And I feel like we still are not going to scratch the service on this.

Yeah, we'll see where we get to here.

This is the entire GTA franchise.

I mean, it is unbelievably storied. There is so many crazy little ins and outs. And just its longevity is so mind-blowing, how consistently

solid GTA titles have come out over the years and continued to be like, you know, now it's an event.

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