Got the ick? Dating, disgust and evolutionary psychology

All In The Mind

ABC

Science, Health & Fitness, Life Sciences

4.4 • 785 Ratings

🗓️ 27 December 2025

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Have you ever experienced "the ick"?

It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their hat, a hobby or even the way they laugh.

Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question - what causes it?

To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick - why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style.

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode first aired in March 2025.

Guests:

MichaelaSingle and ick-prone

Adam HorvathClinical Psychologist at Personal Psychology

Professor Gery Karantzas, PhDCouples therapistDirector, Science of Adult Relationships laboratoryDeakin University

Credits:

Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
Senior producer: James Bullen
Producer: Rose Kerr
Sound engineers: Tegan Nicholls and Michael Grossman

You can find the transcript for this episode on its original webpage here.

More information:

The ick: Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism in mate choice thresholds

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	ABC Listen, podcasts, radio, news, music and more.
0:09.9	Online, it feels like the answer is always yes.
0:14.9	Yes to cookies.
0:16.3	Yes to tracking.
0:17.8	Yes to data sharing.
0:19.7	I'm Ray Johnston, and in Opt-Out, I find out what happens when you finally say no.
0:26.7	Opt-out, a special series on Download This Show, ABC Radio National.
0:31.7	To hear it, search for download this show wherever you get your podcasts or hear it on the ABC Listen app.
0:38.0	Hey, it's Sana here from All In The Mind from ABC Radio National.
0:42.5	We are replaying some of our most popular episodes from 2025.
0:46.8	And this one goes out to anyone currently in the dating trenches.
0:53.7	It's like your body shrivels up into a little raisin.
0:57.0	Like you're like this beautiful, fruitful plum and then you're just like, gru-
1:03.0	Let me tell you a modern dating story.
1:07.0	It feels unfair to the other person because it's just like, this is just like literally a physical
1:12.2	reaction that I'm having right now.
1:13.7	I don't want to be having it, but sometimes it's just like, oh, like that's the noise that
1:18.6	my body is making.
1:20.7	And this story is called the ick.
1:23.6	Act one, Michaela and the dating apps.
1:28.0	I had been dating the same kind of guy for a while, and it was like a, I guess a bit of a like a bad boy.
1:35.1	I was like, okay, it's time to maybe review my selections and move away from my normal type.
	...

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