Welcome to another episode of Lurie Breaks It Down, a podcast where we dig deeply to connect the dots on the issues that shape our world.

I'm Lurie Daniel Favors, author, activist, attorney, and the host of the Lurie Daniel Favors show on Sirius XM's Urban View, Channel 126. If you like what you're about to hear, go ahead and give us five stars and then tell everybody that you know. And if you don't like it, just, child, keep it to yourself and pray our strength. Okay, thank you so much. Also, don't forget to check out my YouTube page, Lurie Daniel Favor's Media, where you should subscribe, like, and share, because then you'll get notified when I post videos from my show, which I do just about every single day and when I go live with my YouTube audience. Listen, like most parents who actually like their children, I love my kids. I love my kids.

They have a pretty big age gap in between the two of them. So while we have two of them,

in many ways, they were raised kind of almost as only children because they have such a big gap

in terms of their chronological age. But they truly are the light of my life. And even on my

worst parenting day, I really do love they stinky little butts. But I'd be lying if I acted like

these little boogers, well, one of whom is technically now 18. So I guess he's a pretty big booger.

But I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge that they are very expensive. In fact, having children

is expensive as hail. Notice I said

we only have two. That actually was not my original plan. Back when I was a student at Penn State,

I was also a participant in a pageant called the Miss Black Penn State pageant. I also happened to

win that pageant, but that's not the point of this episode. It's just a point of personal pride that

I just still appreciate. Anyway, during the pageant, when we were supposed to be responding to questions about our future goals, I channeled my inner Claire Huxstable from the Cosby Show. And I said something along the lines of, I will be a civil rights attorney raising five beautiful children with my husband working to make the world a better place as we worship the Lord. I mean, that's not a direct quote, but that's, it's kind of what I remember about my response. At least that was the sentiment that I was trying to convey. Now, was I a bit overly religious and possibly very pretentious in college? Highly likely. Highly likely. In fact, definitely, definitely likely. Quick sidebar before we get to the actual point of this podcast, when I was graduating in what would end up being the last church service I would attend at the university during that school year, one of the amazing black women who I went to school with approached me for a conversation. Now, we weren't super close or anything, but we were friendly enough. And I thought she was really nice. I had a lot of respect for her and really had no reason to have thought anything negative about her. But she approached me in the pulpit, not in the pulpit, but really more in the pews as the church members were sort of filing out to go home. And she approached me and said she just wanted to chat. And she proceeded to then tell me that she really respected me, but that for some reason she had always

felt judged by me. And it was one of those conversations. I thought we was just going to be like,

hey, girl, all right, congratulations. You know, we made it. Woohoo. We out. Daupin State. But it ended up

being sort of this brief but heartfelt discussion where she essentially said that, you know,

she respected me. But again,

had always felt like I had sort of seen, looked down on her. I think that's a better way to

approach it. And when I tell you, I was completely shocked. It was one of those moments that

completely changed my perspective on anything because I had never thought anything negative about

this woman. And yet, while I didn't mean to be when I thought about what she said, and I

looked back on how I'd sort of carried myself and the group of the friends that I'd had and I'd

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