It's not good. I really need to figure out how to not do it. But I played two shows this weekend, and I turned my headphones up so loud that my ears are ringing so bad. Oh, no. And so I don't know how loud I'm talking. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. Like my ears feel clogged and like they're ringing, and I, so like my perception of sound is not good. I wasn't recording when this happened, but I said, okay, hey, Brandon, give me a check. And you went, a check, check, check, check. And that doesn't help me. That doesn't help me at all with knowing what the language is to speak. And then you laugh like that. Then you spike me, dude. I don't know what to do with you.

I don't know.

Well, yeah, I saw on, it looks like Instagram, you were like trying to recover, like saying something like, I need to recover or something.

I'm still trying.

I don't feel alive.

Well, why are you doing so many shows?

Because I got to make money. I get it. I did it to myself, you know, when I picked this as an occupation. I know. You know, it's funny. I remember when you were first, like, batting around the idea of becoming a DJ and you were, like, learning at your house. I remember you had, like, your rig out, and you're like, I'm learning how to to do this. Oh yeah. And I remember thinking, I don't know if she's built for this. This is this is a life

of late nights and this bitch likes to be in bed by nine. I don't know if this is going to work.

You know, I don't think I am cut out for it, but here we are.

I'm doing it.

I've committed.

This is now my only skill.

So this is what we have to do.

Yeah.

Let me tell you what, two in a row, I don't do that often, and I don't think I can do it again.

It's hard.

Yeah, just don't book yourself that way. Yeah, but you know, money. Yeah, money's important. It's hard to say no to money. Yeah, I get that. I understand. But the two in a row was rough. Here's the other problem. You know me, I don't really drink a lot. Like, I don't like to drink. I would prefer to not drink. But the problem is DJing at 1.30 in the morning isn't fun if you're not buzzed, at least. Yeah. And it just like when you're sober, A, it goes by way slower. And it's just not as fun. And I said yesterday, I said, you know, I think I play better when I'm drunk.

But you know what it is?

I don't hear all the mistakes when I'm drunk. So I think I'm so good if I'm drunk. I'm like, oh, man, I fucking killed that. But it's because I was drunk and didn't really hear all the mistakes. When I'm sober, I hear every mistake I make. And it eased me alive. So now I'm like, well, now I have to drink every time I play, and I'm not cut out for it.

Yeah. and it eased me alive. So now I'm like, well, now I have to drink every time I play.

And I'm not cut out for it.

Yeah.

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