God Smites Tucker Carlson!

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 27 April 2023

⏱️ 74 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On the next God Pod: The prodigal son returns from Hawaii to join the Holy Ghost and God to laugh at Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon getting fired. On the ‘Top Ten List,’ you’ll discover the top ten ways to know God doesn’t exist. On ‘World News,’ Elmo gets attacked on Twitter, fascist Missouri trans ‘snitch form’ brought down like the walls of Jericho with ‘Bee Movie’ script trolling. On ‘Heaven News,’ Jesus spills the dirt to a tabloid, God admits to watching cat videos, the Holy Spirit is not a ghost, Jesus turns water into Rosé, God is not responsible for anything, and The Flying Spaghetti Monster interrupts a volleyball game. Revelations abound on ‘Ask God,’ when you learn if God is God of the universe or the multiverse and why Christians still use shortwave radio to broadcast the Bible. On ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ you’ll be surprised to learn if Jesus would rescue a princess and slay a dragon to clear a bunch of refugees out of the swamp he lived in, if he would snitch on a family member for committing a crime, if he witnessed an act of injustice, and what he would do if he were in the movie ‘Dogma.’ Then drift off to heaven on ‘Holy Spirit ASMR.’ And finally, God drops a new rap song. THANK YOU to our Sponsors! If you’re looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/GODPOD The God Pod: Have It Yahweh! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS Join our Discord chat server: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC The God Pod is everywhere! https://linktr.ee/godpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This time on the God pod airplanes and helicopters they crash a lot and sometimes they
0:06.3	They disappear over Malaysia and you know nobody does anything about it sometimes you crash land and live though
0:13.4	Yeah, and then you live forever and you hang out with two-pock and you know, so I guess that's kind of an okay scenario
0:17.9	Wait, what? I was talking about that show loss. Okay. Oh, I was talking about Amelia Earhart, but like totally she landed there too
0:25.6	And she's there with two-pock everything's fine
0:28.6	Why do I allow tabloids to exist in heaven? I do love it when they give me positive coverage and also even in heaven
0:36.1	I want to know who wore it best and I want them to say that it was me
0:42.7	I really want to know what you're gonna do Jesus. Are you gonna snitch on the family if it's a murder?
0:47.9	Could be genocide of an entire planet running them then yes, I am
0:52.3	Riding out the person who is committing the crime. Thank you. It's good to know Jesus that you can't be trusted with family secrets
1:11.6	Welcome to the God pod where we discuss politics and current events
1:16.6	Today's episode is sponsored by the GOP the party that brings you backwards progress
1:23.4	I'm God. Thank you so much for joining me on the show once again
1:27.2	We've got a fun show today. We've got a top 10 list world news heaven news ask God what would Jesus do?
1:34.0	Holy spirit ASMR and at the end of the show I the Lord thy God will drop my new rap single the god damn GOD
1:44.2	That's right. Whoa. Yeah, that's right. So I hope you got oh, hey Jesus. Welcome back. Hey
1:49.8	Everybody wow
1:52.3	Guess who's back in the motherfuckin house
1:55.4	Jesus back back back
1:57.5	Tell a friend who believes in me. Yes, I am back. I'm excited to be back with you all. I missed you all
2:04.0	I missed our listeners and what a week to come back. Yeah, we missed you too. Yeah, a good job breaking breaking news
2:11.5	Satan has been fired from his anchor job at evil news
	...

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