God’s Creepy 3:00 AM Texts

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2023

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

ON TODAY’S SHOW: Introduction 0:00.000 Two Buddies With Daddy Issues 1:49.104 Crying And Hitting Yourself To Achieve Climax 10:52.967 Dude Gagging It All Up 11:52.827 Woman’s Dead Pet Squirrel Went Missing 13:30.229 Let God Blow Up Your Phone With Thirsty Texts 15:53.954 Novelty Song Singer Is Obsessed With Peen 20:52.933 Galileo Has Some Breaking News For Us 25:03.782 Sign Up For The Sideshow! 27:09.697 Afroman Embarasses Police 27:57.090 Woman Keeps Running Over Friend With Car 33:15.566 Jealous Husband Cuts Off […]

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, Franks. It's Friday, March 24th, 2023 coming up on the program today.
0:05.0	Being a good dad means always refilling your son's porn supplies.
0:09.0	Plus, a psychotic woman's dead squirrel has disappeared.
0:12.3	God is sending some creepy-ass text messages at 3 in the morning.
0:15.8	And why is a cow on the sex offender registry?
0:19.0	Find out today!
0:23.5	Promotional consideration provided by...
0:26.0	Playtakes tampons.
0:27.2	It's the only tampon that comes with deodorant
0:29.6	or without.
0:30.4	And it's great protection.
0:31.8	Playtakes tampons.
0:33.0	I feel it in my fucking pants.
0:34.8	You'll want to feel it in your cunt, too.
0:37.3	We now return to Eaton Beaver on WDVN, Channel 3.
0:42.3	Is this the first time you've eaten beaver?
0:44.0	This is my first beaver.
0:45.8	Yeah.
0:46.8	It's a big, this is a very big moment.
0:49.4	This is...
0:55.8	First of all, this is...
0:58.9	This is fabulous.
	...

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