God Reads Your New Commandments
The God Pod
God
4.7 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 8 November 2019
⏱️ 7 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, God and Jesus read suggestions for new commandments made by you, the awesome viewer. The commandments chosen for this episode were culled from over 4,000 submissions on Twitter and Facebook.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello humans I'm God. I'm God. |
| 0:09.0 | I'm God. Welcome to The God Show. Please like, comment, and subscribe. Thank you. Hi Jesus. |
| 0:18.0 | Hey Dad. This week we'll be reading new commandments that real humans actually created. |
| 0:23.8 | I asked humans on Twitter and Facebook |
| 0:26.0 | to make their suggestions for new commandments |
| 0:28.6 | and got thousands of replies in both places. |
| 0:31.6 | Okay, Jesus, let's get started. All right new commitment from Janaius thou shalt always pet the dog. Yes thou shalt always pet the dog. Dogs need lots of love or else they get really sad. |
| 0:48.1 | Dogs and gods, new commandment. Michelle says, |
| 0:53.0 | thou shalt not urinate on the seat and floor of your communal workplace bathroom |
| 0:58.0 | and then leave it for others to deal with. |
| 1:01.0 | Also, thou shalt wash thy fucking hands. |
| 1:04.8 | Ugh, gross, so gross. Humans are so gross sometimes. They make me want to puke. |
| 1:10.3 | Bueh. |
| 1:11.6 | New commandment. |
| 1:12.6 | Felicia says thou shalt not be a self-righteous |
| 1:16.4 | asshole to those that work in the food industry and retail. |
| 1:20.3 | Oh that's a good one. Why do people always turn into some millionaire diva every time they go out to a restaurant? |
| 1:28.0 | They start slapping their hands, demanding things really fast. |
| 1:32.0 | Oh, slave girl! Slave coke has been empty for exactly 0.5 |
| 1:37.8 | seconds get over here and refill it right yeah listen you're not the king of Applebee's okay you're just |
| 1:47.1 | another stupid obnoxious customer. Yeah, thou shalt tip thy servers these people make |
| 1:52.1 | and deliver the food you put into your mouth. |
... |
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