God Disavows The Bible
The God Show
God
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 30 September 2021
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
God asked humans to explain the Bible badly to people who have never read it. We discuss the Mormon practice of getting soaked to the bone, if you know what I mean. Who should do God's performance review? We discuss. God, Jesus, Moses and Mary Magdalene discuss the latest in the goddamn news. Finally, God delivers your New Commandment of the Week.
After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Today on the God pod, you're kind of a messy bitch. I am such a stunt |
| 0:05.5 | crazy bitch that lives for drunk. I don't love it. I mean you're gonna |
| 0:10.5 | whatever you know go do your thing miss out on the show but no we're gonna talk |
| 0:16.0 | shit you know. It's done I don't love you. You put your penis in you put |
| 0:25.6 | your penis out. You've already you've already tried to help them out. Come on |
| 0:33.4 | warm-ins don't be so you've all already. You do the hokey poke. How do you solve a |
| 0:41.8 | problem like me? How do you solve a problem like Jesus? How do you take a cloud |
| 0:48.2 | and pin it down? How do you take them down a further cause okay? How do you take |
| 0:54.0 | them down a pound town? Stop! I'm leaving. I'm out. |
| 1:09.4 | Welcome to the God pod. I'm your host of host the Good Lord with the most the |
| 1:14.3 | one and only Almighty God. Thank you for joining us as we attempt to save this |
| 1:19.6 | crumbling multiverse. I'm here today with my pals. What's up gang? Hey there. |
| 1:24.7 | Hello. All right Jesus. Mary mags is back Moses. Welcome back Mary. I |
| 1:31.0 | shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step two so that's what I know |
| 1:36.4 | that reference. Yes you do. I couldn't name what it was but I do recognize it. What |
| 1:43.0 | is it again? It's it's Alia and Timberland. Yes. If I first don't succeed pick |
| 1:50.5 | yourself up and try again. It's such an inspirational song. Get him a number of days |
| 1:56.0 | soon. Yes. So that's another reference. Let's talk about the party we just had on |
| 2:02.2 | Friday night. Okay. Wow. So much fun again. That was a blast. That was a blast. I missed it. |
| 2:08.5 | I will tell you this Mary a lot of the times we do something and be like yeah Mary |
| 2:12.7 | would have liked that. A lot of people were like where's Mary? Oh no. Not me |
| 2:18.1 | being HR. One of our listeners was also raving about your hosting job when Mary |
... |
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