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Community Service with Craig Conant

God Bless America

Community Service with Craig Conant

Craig Conant

Comedy

5774 Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2021

⏱️ 79 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Craig talks about opening for Bill Burr, riding a Greyhound, and the power of prayer. Get your tickets now for The Loosey Goosey Tour! - http://craigconant.com   Follow Craig! Twitter - https://twitter.com/craigpconant/ IG - https://instagram.com/craigpconant/ Merch - https://craigconantstore.com/   Sign up for the Community Service Patreon! Bonus episodes! Merch! Exclusive stand-up sets! https://patreon.com/craigconant/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Oh shit

0:04.0

Hey everybody Hey everybody community service is back and I have a Pacific Northwest one coming up.

0:26.6

We got Spokane.

0:28.6

First up, Portland, Seattle, Tacoma, Washington, all up there where it's hot because of GMO weather machines. Anyways, please like, subscribe, share the tickets, you know, links, you know, just go to my show, share my little videos, and I love you all.

0:46.5

Why am I doing this?

0:48.0

Pacific, greatcona.com ticket, links up below.

0:52.6

Crack.

0:54.0

I've had a lot of caffeine today I've had a lot of caffeine and only a little bit of

1:02.2

marijuana I need to even it out oh my god everybody we're back Christopher Lund on the ones and

1:09.2

twos I missed you so much thank you it's good's good to be back. Good to have you, brother. I'm sorry we've been a little MIA life hits you and you got to deal with it. Anyways, I we lock the cats and we have two cats in here. It's very cute. Well, let's just start off with that.

1:28.3

Since Abu's been being a major bitch lately and will not come home and just stays out for two, three days, won't eat food, won't eat, like we thought someone was feeding her.

1:38.3

That's why she's not coming home.

1:40.3

No, when we finally do get her in, she eats like two bowls of food and she doesn't do that.

1:43.3

So she's clearly starving.

1:45.8

And she just rather starve than come home.

1:48.6

We had a system down, we let her out in the morning,

1:51.1

she comes home at dusk, we lock her in, all is good.

1:55.2

I don't know what happened like a week ago,

1:56.8

but like a light switch, she just was like,

1:58.8

fuck you guys, I don't know you anymore, I'm done.

2:02.6

And then she runs from us outside

2:04.8

as if we're a fucking cougar trying to eat her.

...

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