God And Satan Make A Bet On Joel Osteen

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 26 July 2021

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

God and Satan discuss the latest in the Goddamn News! A pastor shoved his hands in a pile of dog poop to make a point, Satan’s old girlfriend showed her feet for the whole world to see, and Joel Osteen gets slammed for driving a $325,000 Ferrari after taking a PPP loan. God and Satan place a bet on Joel, their first bet since Job! Finally, Jeff Bezos went to space in a giant rocketship shaped exactly like a dong. After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS The God Pod is everywhere! YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/TheGodPod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegodpodcast Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheGodPodShow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodgodabove/ Join our Discord server for FREE and hang out with fellow fans of the God Pod:: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC Get the God Pod ad-free on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/godpod Find the God pod wherever you get podcasts. thegodpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This week on The God Pod.
0:02.9	I think there needs to be like broad sword fighting to the death.
0:07.0	That would be interesting.
0:08.0	Or would it like jousting?
0:09.0	They brought jousting back, remember jousting?
0:11.7	Uh, just sword fights, more fist fights, open fists, karate, they're not even letting
0:18.2	them bone.
0:19.2	I think there should be a gold medal for boning.
0:21.0	Okay, that would be pretty fun to watch.
0:24.5	I think I have a way better beard and I think wolf blitz of all the people to be on CNN.
0:31.8	I don't think the one to aim for is wolf blitzer.
0:35.2	I don't like any of them, either, is the funny thing.
0:38.7	Like wolf blitzer, like get a feeling, man, who else don't I like?
0:43.9	Who's that guy, Cuomo?
0:45.4	Okay, now you're pandering to the Republicans, man.
0:48.0	No, I really don't like that.
0:49.5	We get it.
0:50.5	We get it.
0:52.5	It's a cowboy hat in space.
0:54.6	He gets to live out his little childhood boy fantasy.
0:57.5	He's a little boy.
0:59.3	And then he lands and they say, do you want to say anything?
	...

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