Hi everybody.

This short segment is what we call for the good of the order.

It's something we used to do at the end of my sorority meetings, if you can believe that,

where someone would share something that they came across in the course of the week, a poem, a song lyric, a short story, that they found enormously helpful as they went about daily life.

And I wanted to pick up the thread because I am so often wowed by something I see in the world

that I want to bring back and hand off to you.

So every Friday we produce a short segment called for the good of the order.

Think of it like an audio greeting card, a thing to share with the people that you love around the country

who you don't get to see or talk to enough. A thing to discuss with the people you do see and talk to

on a more regular basis.

This is Kelly Corrigan Wonders for the good of the order. This week's go to is really a breakdown of all the principles and best practices that I have learned in this five-part series that we just finished called

Rupture and Repair. So I thought it would be helpful to collect the tips in one

place for easy reference and also to share with people that you might be in

conflict with or people that you know to be in conflict with others who might

really want to add some new tricks to their bag of tools or with

people you know who are struggling to reach some kind of understanding with someone they really care about.

So number one is that the goal of these hard conversations is not winning and it's not persuasion. The goals are not connection and growth, then here are some very specific tactics to fold into your

conversation. One is affirmation, which is saying things like that makes sense or

yes I hear you. Two is avoid distractions which

means put your phone away. Three is staying curious and demonstrating

curiosity with simple questions like this.

When you say blank, do you mean blank?

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