Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive

coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you

want to be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today

we're talking about giving powerful feedback. After a team of executives concluded an exercise at a recent offsite, I asked one of the participants if I could give him some feedback.

He visibly flinched.

Sure, he squeaked unconvincingly. Then he swallowed so loudly we all laughed. My goodness I said, what are you expecting?

Well, he said bravely, nothing good.

In fact, the feedback I had for him was nothing but good.

During the exercise he'd displayed a powerful capacity to think at a high level and to summarize articulately. He'd added value every time

he spoke and that was my feedback for him. But his fear was an authentic demonstration

of how most people experience feedback,

negative and painful. Most leaders grew up with that sort of feedback.

They survived it themselves, so they pass it on. But feedback can be very different. Here are three steps you can take to change

how your people experience feedback. To begin, learn to tell people what you want them to

continue doing.

It's hard to see what doesn't need fixing.

It's a learned skill and it's counterintuitive.

Clients repeatedly ask,

why should I give them a pat on the back for doing their job?

That's what they get paid for.

That's a legitimate question.

Here are two answers to it.

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