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Girls Night with Stephanie May Wilson

Girls Night #311: God Doesn't Ask You To Shrink (The difference between 'dying to self' and erasing yourself)

Girls Night with Stephanie May Wilson

Stephanie May Wilson

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Mental Health

4.94K Ratings

🗓️ 20 October 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This season, we’ve been talking about what to do when you look around at your life and think, “Wait… this is not what I ordered.” Maybe things didn’t turn out the way you thought they would — and now you’re asking those big, scary, beautiful questions: Who am I now? What do I want? Where do I go from here? But for a lot of us who grew up in church, those questions can feel… complicated. Because somewhere along the way, we were taught that it’s wrong to want things. That it’s dangerous to trust ourselves. That being a “good Christian woman” means making yourself smaller — dying to yourself, staying quiet, and serving everyone else first. Today we’re having a conversation I think so many of us need — about what faith actually asks of us. Our guest is Dr. Alison Cook, a therapist, host of The Best of You podcast, and author of the bestselling book by the same name. Alison is an expert at the intersection of faith and psychology. She helps women heal from past wounds, develop a strong sense of self, and experience a loving God who is for them — not asking them to disappear. We’re going to talk about what self-denial really means, how to know when faith has turned into self-erasure, and what it looks like to follow Jesus without losing yourself in the process. You ready? Let’s jump into my conversation with Alison! Mentioned in this episode: 💛 Love Your Single Life [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/singlelife] 💛 Just Married [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/justmarried] 💛 Becoming Mama [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/becomingmama] 🛒 Stephanie’s Journals & Guides [https://stephaniemaywilsonshop.com/] Stay connected: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smaywilson/ | https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/ 🌐 Website: https://stephaniemaywilson.com/ 💌 Join the Girls Night Community: https://stephaniemaywilson.com/email Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:24.4

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0:25.8

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0:27.9

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0:33.3

Hey friends, welcome to Girls' Night.

0:35.9

This season, we've been talking about what to do when you look around at your life and think,

0:40.6

wait, this is not what I ordered.

0:44.2

Maybe things didn't turn out the way you thought they would.

0:46.7

And now you're asking these big, scary, beautiful questions like, who am I now?

0:51.5

What do I want?

0:52.7

Where do I go from here?

0:56.9

But for a lot of us who grew up in church, these questions can feel like, who am I now? What do I want? Where do I go from here? But for a lot of us who grew up in church,

1:03.8

these questions can feel complicated. Because somewhere along the way, we were taught that it's wrong to want things, that it's dangerous to trust ourselves. And that being a good, faithful woman

1:10.2

means making yourself smaller,

1:12.6

dying to yourself, staying quiet, not trusting your feelings, and serving everyone else first.

1:19.9

So today we're having a conversation I think so many of us need about what faith actually asks of us.

1:26.9

Our guest is Dr. Allison Cook, a therapist, host of the Best of You podcast and author of several

1:33.4

incredible books.

1:35.4

Allison is an expert at the intersection of faith and psychology.

1:39.7

She helps women heal from past wounds, develop a strong sense of self, and experience a loving

1:45.0

God who is for them, not asking them to disappear.

1:49.2

We're going to talk about what self-denial really means, how to know when faith has turned

...

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