Hearing the words you're not good enough, it's sad that I've told myself way too many times I like to count, I don't know if you guys can relate, but it's really hard when you're telling yourself that you're not good enough. Now today's guest was told she wasn't good enough on national television in front of millions of people. Now when that happens when you're humiliated and you feel shame and embarrassment and you fall to your knees It's already freaking difficult now. Imagine you do that in front of so many people. Can you get up? Are you able to get up? Well today's guest not only for King God up guys she freaking showed them what she was made of. Lindsay Sterling, the dancing hip hop violinist, is here, guys, to tell us how. On national television, she was told that she wasn't good enough and didn't listen, went on to still be herself. And now sits with over three billion views. Let me just repeat, three billion views and counting on her YouTube channel. And guys, not only does she share how she got up after absolutely being crestfallen, but she also openly talks about her struggles with anorexia and her mental health issues. And guys, this was one of these conversations that was so deep, so intimate, so personal, and so beautifully eye-opening. She sits with me today guys, with zero judgment, and talking openly about how on earth she handled these issues and how she still handles these issues. And that's what women in the impact is all about. Not about being perfect, it's not about saying, I got this sorted. It's about no no, how do you keep handling problems? How do you keep showing up? And well, today's guest, Margot, Lindsey Styling, she has so many freaking nuggets. Let's just dive in right now and listen. And guys, if this episode did bring you value, please do share, tell you home is about a review rate this episode. Let me know what really resonates with you. Start sharing the impact guys. Let's start changing some freaking lives together. Alright, now without further ado, let's get into this episode of Reminiv Impact with Lindsay Sterling. I became so unhappy and I got so sucked into just hating myself. Dancing by Linnie's sensation, Lindsay Stirling gets real. Like literally looking in the mirror and I just hated the girl staring back at me so much. Before her mind blowing success, Lindsay battled negative voices in her head. I always get tearful of this experience because, and matters of the heart, yes, she goes there. Are you in a relationship? Have you ever gone to a heartbreak? And I really actually never talked about this before. But today, she does. Welcome to Women of Impact, Lindsay Stirling. Thank you for having me. Oh my God, homie, I'm so freaking excited to have you. I've been desperate to have you on the show for a long time. And this is actually really important where we start. So many of us don't feel good enough. We don't feel good enough to ask for things. We get rejected from things and and that makes us feel really badly about ourselves. And I had spent the last three years trying to be good enough to have you on my show. So that's why I wanted to stop me. Yes, I want to. That's why I want to start with not being good enough. Because one of your most epic stories is that you get rejected on national television, I believe you'll told you sound like that squeaking. In that moment of rejection, in that moment where you've said, I didn't feel good enough, how the hell did you get back up to then crush it and have over three billion views on YouTube? You know, looking back at that story, I remember as I stood on that stage, and this is in front of like millions of people watching live. I see the red camera, like the little light on it, just letting me know that like this is live, and I'm listening to these horrible things. I'm so humiliated and ran to the bathroom after I finally got off stage and just sobbed for like hours. And I the thoughts in my mind where I could never get on a stage again. That was too humiliating. No one will want me after they see that. But then after some time passed, time does heal all wounds. And I really could listen to that inner voice inside of me that let me know, you're not done yet. There's more for you in this story. That wasn't the end. And I think that inner voice inside of me that let me know, like you're not done yet. Like there's more for you in this story, that wasn't the end. And you know, I think that inner voice is the most important thing I've learned to listen to. And it goes past the thoughts in your mind of like I'm not good enough or like that was embarrassing. There's like a deeper level of yourself. And you know, I like to attribute that to like, God, you know. That's what I call that voice.

Everybody calls it their own thing, but it kind of let me know like try again. This isn't the end. Get up. Like, you know, look your wounds, feel better. And I'm so grateful that I listened. And I guess also I changed the dialogue in my head to like give me the courage and it went from being what they told me is that I wasn't enough. And I changed the dialogue to like, well, maybe I wasn't good enough that night.

Maybe it's not that- from being what they told me is that I wasn't enough. And I changed the dialogue to like,

well, maybe I wasn't good enough that night. Maybe it's not that I will never be good enough. Maybe I just wasn't good enough yet. Because it was kind of this idea of like, I'm a dancing violinist, and it was like a very new craft at the time. I played the violin since I was six, but I only just started to learn to dance. And so it was kind of awkward and it wasn't my best performance and I was terrified so I was really nervous and didn't do

Very well to be honest six, but I only just started to learn to dance. And so it was kind of awkward, and it wasn't my best performance.

And I was terrified.

So I was really nervous and didn't do very well, to be honest. But just because you didn't have the greatest moment doesn't mean that you don't have what it takes to be great tomorrow or next year. Or maybe you weren't good enough. Maybe you need to work a little harder to earn that spot on the stages. And so I worked really hard in the shadows for a while till I was ready to then step on not even stages that big, smaller stages, to help me learn the craft of performance so that I could get on bigger stages. And now I've returned several times to stages like that and bigger stages, but I was good enough because I put in the time and I didn't give up and I listened to that inner voice. Dude, that's so strong. I'm so obsessed with these pivot moments. I keep bringing it back to the movie sliding doors where it's like this one moment where if you make the sliding door, your life goes one way and if you don't make the sliding door, your life goes another. And those moments, these one little moments where we can believe we're not good enough ever. Yeah. Now it means we don't ever try. We never pick up that violin again. We never go on that first smaller stage to then build up to be to the point where you're just, you know, again, three billion guys with a B, billion views. There's another story where the other Lindsay doesn't pick up the violin to do her YouTube channel to that because she believes that negative voice is telling us she's not good enough. So did you actually find solace in using the word yet? Absolutely. I mean, I think it takes away the infinite comment of like, you're not good enough forever. But when you're like, well, like, yet, okay, I'm not good enough yet, maybe. I can work on yet. Once upon a time, I couldn't play the violin at all.

And at that point, I was also overcoming some mental challenges. I was going through anorexia and I was kind of on the tail end of it. And I was like, once upon a time, I hated myself. That didn't mean I have to hate myself forever. And so I learned through so many things, we've all experienced this possibility of, You don't know something and you have the chance to learn it.

So it's like, okay, I just need to work a little harder.

I just need to give myself a little more time. That is so beautiful and there is power to that. There is so much power to know, oh, yeah, I may actually be terrible right now. And that's why I started with the not good enough part and saying that I've been looking, been trying to get you on my show for so long because I had that same attitude. Like there were moments where I've had guests that I've reached out to that have just said no. Right. And it's like, okay Lisa, you can take that as a dent to your ego or you can just actually be honest with yourself and say what you need to do in order to get it, you haven't done yet. And you talk about earning your strikes. So how did you then process? You broke down little, like, okay, so I went on that first stage. Did you realize that that was part of you?

B- Yeah. And you talk about earning your strikes. So how did you then process? You broke down little, like, okay, so I went on that first stage. Did you realize that that was part of you building back your confidence in order to then be able to step on that big stage? I did, because I remember how terrified I was before I stepped on to this little open mic night stage. I can just, it was all all it all felt very fresh. I should say like the sound

of the buzzer the things the judges said the humiliation I had felt it was also like it felt fresh because I hadn't done it since and I just remember being so scared to go out but my sister was there with me she was my roommate in college and she was the first one to clap when I finished and it's like as long as you've got somebody in your court, I think we all need that cheerleader.

It's hard to be that 100% for yourself. You do have to be your biggest cheerleader, in my opinion, in order. But you also kind of need those people in your court. They're like, hey, I'll be there for you. I'll be the first one to stand in clap, even if no one else claps. And I'm so grateful for my mom and my sister and those people that were there for me through those times

and helped me realize, this is scary,

but you're gonna get through it.

Okay, that's so powerful. I love going deep though girl. So take me to that moment. You're you said you're still hearing the buzzer. I'm sure the anxiety. So going back onto the stage again after you feel like you failed or that you have had a failure. You're standing there are so many people that cannot put their foot on that stage that go from feeling the fear and letting it dictate how they show up. What are those little incremental things that when you're standing there and you're really scared and you're hearing the old buzzers and the old embarrassment and all those past emotions that come rushing to you. What allowed you to actually put those steps onto that stage? You know what? I am looking back at all this experience. I am so grateful that I had those experiences because I've used these same exact tools time and time again to this day when I'm afraid of something

or when I'm like, I have no motivation to do that. Like I don't know if I can get up today and do that. You know, I go back to that place of that girl that was terrified and embarrassed and humiliated and scared, you know, I go back to those pivotal moments. And for me, it's sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other. as simple as that sounds, take the first step.

And for me to get onto that first little tiny

open mic stage, the first step.

And for me to get onto that first little tiny open mic

stage, the first step was pick a song that I think I would play

and practice it.

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