Ghosting, Gaslighting, and Gay Bars (w/ Roz Hernandez)
Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer
Headgum & Nicole Byer
4.8 • 15.6K Ratings
🗓️ 15 August 2025
⏱️ 70 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
For Roz Hernandez, dating as a sober, trans woman comedian is a trifecta of difficulty - and finding love hasn’t been easy. She tells Nicole about going to 4 different Etsy psychics to sketch her future husband, using Grindr to find dates willing to explore haunted places, and the hookup stories that came from visiting 45 gay bars across the country. She opens up about the surprising ways gay men have treated her, why she’s stopped dating straight men altogether, and the many times she’s been ghosted - in love and in life. Nicole shares why she loves her boyfriend so much, and the two dive into what might really be behind the male loneliness epidemic.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode |
| 0:04.4 | description. |
| 0:07.0 | This is a headgum podcast. |
| 0:10.7 | My grinder says straight men creep me out because there's a lot of straight identifying men |
| 0:18.0 | on Grindr. Yeah. And the conversations I get in with people, these |
| 0:24.2 | blank profiles that'll be like, what the fuck is wrong with straight men? Why do you think we're |
| 0:31.5 | creepy? They're on Grindr as a straight man, messaging you being like, what's wrong with straight men? |
| 0:37.2 | Yeah. Yeah. I would be like, this you being like what's wrong with straight men yeah |
| 0:37.5 | yeah |
| 0:39.5 | I would be like |
| 0:40.5 | this whole interaction |
| 0:41.4 | is what's wrong with you |
| 0:42.3 | yes |
| 0:42.7 | and this is creepy |
| 0:44.0 | Why won't you date me |
| 0:46.8 | Why won't you date me |
| 0:48.6 | Why won't you date me |
| 0:50.6 | Please |
| 0:51.5 | Tell me why Tell me why oh baby welcome to another episode of why won't you date me a podcaster me |
| 1:05.1 | me Nicole buyer has been trying to figure out why I was so single even though you could come |
| 1:09.6 | in my hair and tell me it was a barret. |
| 1:11.5 | My guest today. |
... |
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